Bull Durham

"[Opening narration] I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. [sigh] But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology."

"This is the damndest season I've ever had; the Durham Bulls can't lose and I can't get laid!"

"[narrating] Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, but it's also a job."

"[narrating] The world's made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness."

"[narrating] "Full many a flower's born to blush unseen and waste its sweetness on the desert air." - Thomas Gray...or William Cullen Bryant, I don't know. I get them mixed up."

"[Closing narration] Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." You could look it up."

"[To Nuke] Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the Show, you can let the fungus grow back on your shower shoes and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the Show, however, it means you're a slob."

"[Turns on the sprinklers on a ball field] Oh my goodness, we've got ourselves a natural disaster!"

"[Adjusts Nuke's garter belt] The rose goes on the front, big guy."

"[To the batter after Nuke ignores his signs] This sonofabitch's pitching a 2-hit shutout and he's shaking me off, you believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce, and when you speak of me, speak well."

"Never fuck with a winning streak."

"[Complaining to an umpire] That was a cocksucking call!"

"You know what the difference between hitting .250 and .300 is? It's 25 hits. 25 hits in 500 at-bats is 50 points, okay? There's six months in a season; that's about twenty-five weeks. That means if you get just one extra flare a week, just one; A gork, a groundball—you get a groundball with eyes—you get a dying quail...just one more dying quail a week, and you're in Yankee Stadium."

"I've been known on occasion to howl at the moon."

"[Repeated line] C'mon, Meat. Bring me that weak-ass shit."

"[Describing his first night with Annie] We didn't fuck. She just read poetry to me all night. It was more tiring than fucking."

""Limping jets of love"...Hey, Crash. Does that mean what I think it means, "limping jets of love"?"

"[Wearing Annie's garter belt under his uniform for the first time] This underwear feels kinda sexy...that don't make me queer, right? Right."

"Why does he want me to throw the heat again, I just threw it. No, don't think, Meat, just give him the gas."

"[Gives up a hit in a close game] Shit, piss, fuck!"

"A good friend of mine used to say, "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." Think about that for a while."

"A Major League love story in a Minor League town."

"It's all about sex and sport. What else is there?"

"Romance is a lot like baseball. It's not whether you win or lose. It's how you play the game."

"A movie about America's other favorite pastime."

"Kevin Costner - Lawrence "Crash" Davis"

"Susan Sarandon - Annie Savoy"

"Tim Robbins - Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh"

"Trey Wilson - Joe "Skip" Riggins"

"Robert Wuhl - Larry Hockett"

"William O'Leary - Jimmy"

"Jenny Robertson - Millie"

"Danny Gans - Deke"

"Max Patkin - Himself"