Billy Bennett

"'Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twenty-second year, So he smiled at her as sweetly as a hog And asked what present she would like. And jestingly she said: "Your green tie for my little yellow dog.""

"There's a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Conga Pooch; There's a little hot cross bun that's turning green; There's a double-jointed woman doing tricks in Chu-Chin-Chow, And you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din."

"She knows I'm a deserter from the Scottish Fusiliers, She knows I stole a blind-man's can...that got me seven years! She knows I've been connected with a gang of West-End Pests, And the police have had me twice inside the cage; And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past, But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage."

"And you can't part a boy from his father, You can't part a boy from his dad, You can't part a Scotchman from money No matter how many he's had. You can't part the skin of a sausage Or a dad from his fond son and heir, And you can't part the hair on a bald-headed man For there'll be no parting there."

"Remember what the Patriarch King Solomon Told his harem on the night they'd had a few: "Teetotalum overcoatum asqua scutum atomack Sonata with tomoto, laringitis, cul de sac." Translation: "If your rhubarb's fallen try and bend it back." That's a motto for the likes of me and you."

"Billy Bennett – I speak of the artist – was forthright, bawdy, and wholesome…[His] grossness had that gusto about it which is like a high wind blowing over a noisome place."