Andy Kaufman

"I'm tossing up punchlines that were never there... I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons I'm keeping flowers in full bloom I'm looking for answers from the great beyond."

"I am not a comic, I have never told a joke...The comedian's promise is that he will go out there and make you laugh with him...My only promise is that I will try to entertain you as best I can....They say, 'Oh wow, Andy Kaufman, he's a really funny guy.' But I'm not trying to be funny. I just want to play with their heads.""

"T'ank you veddy much."

"Now, Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch? Andy are you goofing on Elvis? Hey, baby. Are we losing touch?"