A Dirty Shame

"Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!"

"My pussy's on fire!"

"PINK STEEL!"

"I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury."

"Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!"

"I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis"

"I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!"

"A concussion is a terrible thing to waste."

"I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire."

"One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!"

"A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!"

"We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!"

"Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!"

"I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!"

"I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!"

"Tracey Ullman - Sylvia Stickles"

"Johnny Knoxville - Ray Ray Perkins"

"Selma Blair - Caprice Stickles"

"Chris Isaak - Vaughn Stickles"

"Suzanne Shepherd - Big Ethel"

"Mink Stole - Marge the Neuter"

"Patricia Hearst - Paige"