Mongrels (TV series)

"I’m gonna butcher Joe McElderry,"

"If a Nigerian Prince ever e-mails,"

"Could you even name one of his songs?"

"That bitch deserves a flesh eating virus…"

"Sniff loads of glue, the feeling's incredible,"

"I have mine tattooed on my paw,"

"Vince: I'm a c**t"

"Brought his insipid music to our shore…"

"Every pop star looks like each other,"

"‘Cos you can’t buy vinyl Miley Cyrus,"

"Since I wasn't around when you were a kitten,"

"Take media studies, it's a useful degree,"

"Marion: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, yes..."

"Marion: Keep your pin number simple, like 1-2-3-4,"

"He managed to castrate me even though the knife was blunt!"

"C***********....**********T!!"

"Why does everything have to change?"

"And Justin frigging Bieber hadn’t,"

"I’m gonna murder Justin Bieber…"

"Thanks for destroying music, Simon Cowell…"

"I’m gonna kidnap all the kids from Glee,"

"So I’m sticking with my record stylus,"

"When I murder Justin Bieber…"

"Marion (singing): Uh-huh, uh-huh, yes..."

"Here's a father's advice, make sure you listen."

"You have to go to university,"

"And never wear condoms, they make sex terrible,"

"Backing Singers: Forget what they tell you at school,"

"Backing Singers: Smoking makes you look cool."

"Marion: Uh-huh, uh-huh, light up..."

"Woooaaaaaaaah...............!"

"All: He robbed me! Knifed me! Shot me! He poured acid down my front!"

"Nelson: He anally invaded me as a publicity stunt!"

"All: I think that we all agree he….is….a….mass....ive"

"Robert (speaking) : Okay, I’ve got a little musical number that might just fit the bill."

"Robert: What was wrong with the good old days?"

"I much preferred the way things were before…"

"When Britain really had got talent,"

"The self-important little diva…"

"Gonna take a pick-axe to his pretty face,"

"It’s easy to sing in perfect time,"

"When all you ever do is mime,"

"Is that Zack Efron or a Jonas Brother?"

"Either way they should be disembowelled…"

"And shatter all their femurs,"

"But before he releases one more song,"

"With a blunt meat cleaver…"

"And they’ll auto-tune his final scream,"

"Marion (spoken): Ah, my boy- so much you have to learn."

"Send him your bank account details,"