screenplays-by-roald-dahl

"[reading a book out loud] And the big brown bear came lolloping over the mountain. "No, no!" the princess cried…"

"Nasty smelly things, motorcars!"

"[singing] P-O-S-H - Posh!"

"You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious."

"[to Truly Scrumptious] Maybe my children like running wild in the street. Had that occured to you?"

"Hey, you there, get those children in here!! Get them in before the soldiers get here!! We must get those children out of sight, if the soldiers come they will take them away, uh um, no one's allowed to have children in Vulgaria!! The Baroness, she hates children!!"

"Here's some good advice, take your children and your good lady out of Vulgaria. Look, I'm only a toymaker, and if I don't finish this in time for the Baron's birthday tomorrow I shall be a dead toymaker!!"

"There are children here somewhere. I can smell them."

"Come along, kiddie-winkies!"

"Here we are children, come and get your lollipops, lollipops, come along my little ones."

"They're all free today, cherry pie, cream puffs, ice cream, treacle tart."

"[to the Toymaker] I don't trust a man who makes toys in a land where children are forbidden."

"[threatening the Toymaker] The Baroness will have your teeth for a necklace, and your eyeballs for earrings."

"Let me tell you, Toymaker. This nose of mine has never failed me. And if there are children here, my friend... you will die. [laughs maniacally]"

"Fool! Idiot! Out of my way!"

"A gentleman's got a walking stick. A seaman's got a gaff. And the merry men of Robin Hood They used a quarterstaff. On the Spanish plains inside their canes They hide their ruddy swords. But we make do with an old bam-boo And everyone applauds!"

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, HEY! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo."

"The most fantasmagorical musical entertainment in the history of everything!"

"It was just an old neglected car. Who could have guessed..."

"Get a "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" out of life!"

"Dick Van Dyke as Caractacus Potts"

"Sally Ann Howes as Truly Scrumptious"

"Adrian Hall as Jeremy"

"Heather Ripley as Jemima"

"Lionel Jeffries as Grandpa Potts"

"Gert Fröbe as Baron Bomburst"

"Anna Quayle as Baroness Bomburst"

"Benny Hill as the Toymaker"

"James Robertson Justice as Lord Scrumptious"

"Robert Helpmann as the Child Catcher"

"Desmond Llewelyn as Mr. Coggins"

"Alexander Doré as First Spy"

"Bernard Spear as Second Spy"

"Peter Arne as the Captain of Bomburst's Army"

"Victor Maddern as the Customer Junkman"

"Arthur Mullard as Cyril"

"Stanley Unwin (comedian) as the Chancellor"

"Barbara Windsor as Blonde at Fair"