"[telling Angus a tale about the water horse] Aye, it was my Uncle Lachlan who first told me about them. Many years ago, there was a lost traveler, and he's weeping bitter tears, because he cannot find his way home. H-He'd given up hope. Then suddenly, who should appear at the bank of the loch to this traveler but a sea spirit. A water horse. Now, the traveler, no fool is he, knows that the water horse is a creature of magic, one that could grow 10 feet tall overnight. So the traveler, he feeds the water horse, strokes it, flatters it with compliments, and finally, the traveler says: "Incidentally, water horse, my dear friend, I'm wondering, if you've no other pressing engagements, could I trouble you to carry me across the loch on your back? Show me the way home?""

"Jimmy McGarry: No, it's a monster. A creature with horns, a devil!"

"Errol Shand as Lt. Wormsley"

"Angus was just like every other wee boy. He wanted his daddy home again, but he also had another problem."

"Sgt. Wallace Strunk: [dancing with Gracie to jazz music in the kitchen] You're a fine woman, Gracie."

"Priyanka Xi as Kirstie MacMorrow"

"Kirstie, Angus, run along. We don't want to distract our guests from their duties."

"A sea monster? Are you telling me this has all been about a sea monster?! What is going on here?! Has anyone gone mad?! A sea monster?! There is no monster. [turns to Captain Hamilton] There's just you with your bloody gun! [turns to Lewis] And you, filling his head with tales of sea creatures and magic? There's no monster, and there's no magic."

"[feeding Crusoe a can of sardines] Here you are. Look what I've got. Don't be greedy now."

"The submarine net will be down to permit passage by routine marine traffic and to let their subs in. And then we will raise the net... and we will destroy them."

"[after a botched demonstration] Angus, this is not the place for us. Can someone drive us home, please?"

"The boy needs discipline, Anne."

"[looking for Crusoe] Where are you? Where have you gone? Crusoe, where the devil are you?"

"I wish I could swim like you. I wish I wasn't so afraid."

"Faster, Crusoe! We have to get to the net!"

"That's a good boy. I'm sorry for grabbing."

"All the radios are down! We have to get to the net!"

"Do you know why I take two pairs of trousers onto the golf course, Mrs. MacMorrow? In case I get a hole in one."

"Jings, Crusoe. You're as big as a prize pig. How did you grow so fast?"

"DID I OR DID I NOT TELL YOU TO WAIT OVER THERE?!?!"

"Billy T. James as Pawai."

"Fiona Samuel as Cheeky Hobson and Pongo."

"Peter Hayden as Irish Murphy and Cooch Windgrass."

"Brian Sergent as Spit Murphy."

"John Clarke as Wal Footrot."

"Dorothy McKegg as Aunt Dolly."

"[after ruining Wal and Cheeky's date] You think you can break my spirit, do you Wal Footrot? Well, you're not dealing with rubbish here, mate. The blood of the Grey Ghost flows in these veins! I got one thing to say to you Wal Footrot. [startled by the screams of rats] I'm sorry!"

"Peter Rowley as Dog."

"[after closing his cupboard, the stuff on top falls on him] Ah, shit!"

"[repeated line] Ye Gods!"