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April 10, 2026
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"Youâre still young and healthy. Maybe thatâs why you donât understand what I am saying. Let me give you an example. Once you pass a certain age, life becomes nothing more than a process of continual loss. Things that are important to your life begin to slip out of your grasp, one after another, like a comb losing teeth. And the only things that come to take their place are worthless imitations. Your physical strength, your hopes, your dreams, your ideals, your convictions, all meaning, or, then again, the people you love: one by one, they fade away. Some announce their departure before they leave, while others just disappear all of a sudden without warning one day. And once you lose them you can never get them back. Your search for replacements never goes well. Itâs all very painfulâas painful as actually being cut with a knife. You will be turning thirty soon, Mr. Kawana, which means that, from now on, you will gradually enter that twilight portion of lifeâyou will be getting older. You are probably beginning to grasp that painful sense that you are losing something, are you not?"
"Tengo gazed at the moons, not paying much attention to the sound of the wind, sitting there until his whole body was chilled to the bone. It must have been around fifteen minutes. No, maybe more. His sense of time had left him. His body, initially warmed by the whiskey, now felt hard and cold, like a lonely boulder at the bottom of the sea. The clouds continued to scud off toward the south. No matter how many were blown away, others appeared to take their place. There was an inexhaustible source of clouds in some land far to the north. Decisive people, minds fixed on the task, clothed in thick, gray uniforms, working silently from morning to night to make clouds, like bees make honey, spiders make webs, and war makes widows."
"He had done everything asked of him, and now he just wanted to concentrate on his own work. Something told him, however, that it was not going to be that simple, and he knew that bad premonitions have a far higher accuracy rate than good ones."
"But who can possibly save all the people of the world? Tengo thought. You could bring all the gods of the world into one place, and still they couldnât abolish nuclear weapons or eradicate terrorism. They couldnât end the drought in Africa or bring John Lennon back to life. Far from itâthe gods would just break into factions and start fighting among themselves, and the world would probably become even more chaotic than it is now. Considering the sense of powerlessness that such a state of affairs would bring about, to have people floating in a pool of question marks seems like a minor sin."
"Air Chrysalis had long since disappeared from the bestseller lists. Number one on the list now was a diet book entitled Eat as Much as You Want of the Food You Love and Still Lose Weight. What a great title. The whole book could be blank inside and it would still sell."
"Before he had realized it, these exercises had given him the talent to be skeptical about his own self, and he had come to the recognition that most of what is generally considered the truth is entirely relative. Subject and object are not as distinct as most people think. If the boundary separating the two isnât clear-cut to begin with, it is not such a difficult task to intentionally shift back and forth from one to the other."
"She only felt revulsion for any kind of religious fundamentalists. The very thought of such peopleâs intolerant worldview, their inflated sense of their own superiority, and their callous imposition of their own beliefs on others was enough to fill her with rage."
"âFeelings like that donât give you any choice, do they?â Aomame said. âThey come at you whenever they want to. Itâs not like choosing food from a menu.â âIt is in one way: you have regrets after you make a mistake.â They shared a laugh. Aomame said, âItâs the same with menus and men and just about anything else: we think weâre choosing things for ourselves, but in fact we may not be choosing anything. It could be that everythingâs decided in advance and we pretend weâre making choices. Free will may be an illusion. I often think that.â âIf thatâs true, life is pretty dark.â âMaybe so.â âBut if you can love someone with your whole heartâeven if heâs a terrible person and even if he doesnât love you backâlife is not a hell, at least, though it might be kind of dark. Is that what youâre saying?â Ayumi asked. âExactly.â âBut still,â Ayumi said, âit seems to me that this world has a serious shortage of both logic and kindness.â âYou may be right,â Aomame said. âBut itâs too late to traded in for another one.â âThe exchange window expired a long time ago,â Ayumi said. âAnd the receiptâs been thrown away.â âYou said it.â âOh, well, no problem,â Aomame said. âThe worldâs going to end before we know it.â"
"Thatâs what the world is, after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories."
"Komatsu was good at keeping a straight face when saying things he didnât believe, though this was a skill mastered by all experienced editors to some degree."
"No one knows for certain what it means to die until they actually do it."
"Tengo started to have doubts about the difference between a person being alive and being dead. Maybe there really wasnât much of a difference to begin with, he thought. Maybe we just decided, for convenienceâs sake, to insist on a difference."
"âNot very heartwarming facts, are they.â âWell, with facts whatâs important is their weight and accuracy. Warmth is secondary.â"
"From Ushikawaâs perspective, they were irretrievably shallow. To him, their minds were dull, their vision narrow and devoid of imagination, and all they cared about was what other people thought. More than anything, they were completely lacking in the sort of healthy skepticism needed to attain any degree of wisdom."
"Judging from the spiderwebs clinging to it, the emergency stairway was hardly ever used. To each web clung a small black spider, patiently waiting for its small prey to come along. Not that the spiders had any awareness of being âpatient.â A spider had no special skill other than building its web, and no lifestyle choice other than sitting still. It would stay in one place waiting for its prey until, in the natural course of things, it shriveled up and died. This was all genetically predetermined. The spider had no confusion, no despair, no regrets. No metaphysical doubt, no moral complications. Probably. Unlike me."
"A butterfly came fluttering along and landed on the shoulder of her blue work shirt. It was a small, white butterfly with a few crimson spots on its wings. The butterfly seemed to know no fear as it went to sleep on her shoulder. âIâm sure youâve never seen this kind of butterfly,â the dowager said, glancing toward her own shoulder. Her voice betrayed a touch of pride. âEven down in Okinawa, youâd have trouble finding one of these. It gets its nourishment from only one type of flower â a special flower that only grows in the mountains of Okinawa. You have to bring the flower here and grow it first if you want to keep this butterfly in Tokyo. Itâs a lot of trouble. Not to mention the expense.â âIt seems to be very comfortable with you.â âThis little person thinks of me as a friend.â âIs it possible to become friends with a butterfly?â âIt is if you first become a part of nature. You suppress your presence as a human being, stay very still, and convince yourself that you are a tree or grass or a flower. It takes time, but once the butterfly lets its guard down, you can become friends quite naturally.â âDo you give them names?â Aomame asked, curious. âLike dogs or cats?â The dowager gave her head a little shake. âNo, I donât give them names, but I can tell one from another by their shapes and patterns. And besides, there wouldnât be much point in giving them names: they die so quickly. These people are your nameless friends for just a little while. I come here every day, say hello to the butterflies, and talk about things with them. When the time comes, though, they just quietly go off and disappear. Iâm sure it means theyâve died, but I can never find their bodies. They donât leave any trace behind. Itâs as if theyâve been absorbed by the air. Theyâre dainty little creatures that hardly exist at all: they come out of nowhere, search quietly for a few, limited things, and disappear into nothingness again, perhaps to some other world.â"
"Mathematics gave Tengo an effective means of retreat. By fleeing into a world of numerical expression, he was able to escape from the troublesome cage of reality."
"If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then thereâs salvation in life. Even if you canât get together with that person."
"Iâve never had the slightest interest in matters of the occult. People have been repeating the same kinds of fraud throughout the world since the beginning of time, using the same old tricks, and still these despicable fakes continue to thrive. That is because most people believe not so much in truth as in things they wish were the truth. Their eyes may be wide open, but they donât see a thing. Tricking them is as easy as twisting a babyâs arm."
"As a teacher, Tengo pounded into his studentsâ heads how voraciously mathematics demanded logic. Here things that could not be proven had no meaning, but once you had succeeded in proving something, the worldâs riddles settled into the palm of your hand like a tender oyster. Tengoâs lectures took on uncommon warmth, and the students found themselves swept up in his eloquence. He taught them how to practically and effectively solve mathematical problems while simultaneously presenting a spectacular display of the romance concealed in the questions it posed. Tengo saw admiration in the eyes of several of his female students, and he realized that he was seducing these seventeen- or eighteen-year-olds through mathematics. His eloquence was a kind of intellectual foreplay. Mathematical functions stroked their backs; theorems sent warm breath into their ears."
"The total amount of time available is especially limited. The clock is ticking as we speak. Time rushes past. Opportunities are lost right and left. If you have money, you can buy time. You can even buy freedom if you want. Time and freedom: those are the most important things that people can buy with money."
"âIâd like to wish you luck, but I am afraid a good luck wish from me wonât do any good,â Tamaru said. âBecause you donât believe in luck.â âEven if I wanted to, I donât know what itâs like,â Tamaru said. âIâve never seen it.â"
"Tengo found himself silently wishing that this peaceful time could go on forever. If he said it aloud, some keen-eared demon somewhere might overhear him. And so he kept his wish for continued tranquility to himself. But things never go the way you want them to, and this was no exception. The world seemed to have a better sense of how you wanted things not to go."
"Most people are not looking for provable truths. As you said, truth is often accompanied by intense pain, and almost no one is looking for painful truths. What people need is beautiful, comforting stories that make them feel as if their lives have some meaning. Which is where religion comes from."
"Everything ended in silence. The beasts and spirits heaved a deep breath, broke up their encirclement, and returned to the depths of a forest that had lost its heart."
"Itâs no fun growing old, no fun at all. The drawers where you store memories get harder to open."
"In Ushikawaâs experience, nobody hated paying taxes more than the rich."
"Aomameâs familyâas far as Ushikawa could see it, that isâwere narrow-minded in their thinking, narrow-minded in the way they lived. They were people who had no doubt whatsoever that the more narrow-minded they became, the closer they got to heaven."
"So he always kept his mouth shut. He kept his ears open and listened closely to whatever anyone else had to say, aiming to learn something from everything he heard. This habit eventually became a useful tool. Through this, he discovered a number of important realities, including this one: most people in the world donât really use their brains to think. And people who donât think are the ones who donât listen to others."
"âThere is always just a thin line separating deep faith from intolerance,â Ushikawa said. âAnd itâs very hard for people to do anything about it.â"
"This may be the most important proposition revealed by history: âAt the time, no one knew what was coming.â"
"âItâs just that youâre about to do something out of the ordinary⌠âI suppose youâre right.â âRight. And after you do something like that, the everyday look of things might seem to change a little. Things may look different to you than they did before. But donât let appearances fool you. Thereâs always only one reality.â"
"I move, therefore I am."
"It was her personal view that people who are overly choosy about the drinks they order in a bar tend to be sexually bland. She had no idea why this should be so."
"âFukada was supposedly looking for a utopia in the Takashima system,â the Professor said with a frown. âBut utopias donât exist, of course, anywhere in any world. Like alchemy or perpetual motion. What Takashima is doing, if you ask me, is making mindless robots. They take the circuits out of peopleâs brains that make it possible for them to think for themselves. Their world is like the one that George Orwell depicted in his novel. Iâm sure you realize that there are plenty of people who are looking for exactly that kind of brain death. It makes life a lot easier. You donât have to think about difficult things, just shut up and do what your superiors tell you to do. You never have to starve. To people who are searching for that kind of environment, the Takashima Academy may well be utopia.â"
"Drawing distinctions between religions and cults has always been a delicate business. Thereâs no hard and fast definition. Interpretation is everything. And where there is room for interpretation, there is always room for political persuasion."
"Of course, reading novels was just another form of escape. As soon as he closed their pages he had to come back to the real world. But at some point Tengo noticed that returning to reality from the world of a novel was not as devastating a blow as returning from the world of mathematics. Why should that have been? After much deep thought, he reached a conclusion. No matter how clear the relationships of things might become in the forest of story, there was never a clear-cut solution. That was how it differed from math. The role of a story was, in the broadest terms, to transpose a single problem into another form. Depending on the nature and direction of the problem, a solution could be suggested in the narrative. Tengo would return to the real world with that suggestion in hand. It was like a piece of paper bearing the indecipherable text of a magic spell. At times it lacked coherence and served no immediate practical purpose. But it would contain a possibility. Someday he might be able to decipher the spell. That possibility would gently warm his heart from within."
"What did it mean for a person to be free? she would often ask herself. Even if you managed to escape from one cage, werenât you just in another, larger one?"
"The dowager smiled. âWhat an interesting person you are!â Aomame said, âIâm a very ordinary human being. I just happen to like reading books. Especially history books.â âI like history books too. They teach us that we are basically the same, whether now or in the old days. There may be a few differences in clothing and lifestyle, but thereâs not that much difference in what we think and do. Human beings are ultimately nothing but carriersâpassagewaysâfor genes. They ride us into the ground like racehorses from generation to generation. Genes donât think about what constitutes good or evil. They donât care whether we are happy or unhappy. Weâre just a means to an end for them. The only thing they think about is what is most efficient for them.â âIn spite of that, we canât help but think about what is good and what is evil. Is that what youâre saying?â The dowager nodded. âExactly. People have to think about those things. But genes are what control the basis for how we live. Naturally, a contradiction arises,â she said with a smile."
"âTo give you my honest opinion,â the dowager went on, âthe Society of Witnesses is not a proper religion. If you had been badly injured or come down with an illness that required surgery, you might have lost your life then and there. Any religion that would prohibit life-saving surgery simply because it goes against the literal word of the Bible can be nothing other than a cult. This is an abuse of dogma that crosses the line.â"
"The guru is a degenerate with perverted sexual tastes. There can be no doubt. The organization and the doctrines are nothing but a convenient guise for masking his individual desires."
"The police departmentâs just another bureaucratic government agency, after all. The top brass donât think of anything but their own careers. Some are not like that, but most of them have worked their way up playing it safe, and their goal is to find a cushy job in a related organization or private industry after they retire. So they donât want to touch anything the least bit risky or hot. They probably donât even eat pizza without letting it cool off."
"The problem is with the weekly magazines. Their freelancers or journalists or whatever you call them will start circling like sharks smelling blood. Theyâre all good at what they do, and once they latch on, they donât let go. Their livelihood depends on it, after all. They canât afford to have little things like good taste or peopleâs privacy stand in their way."
"What we call the present is given shape by an accumulation of the past."
"âI barely looked at him, but he seemed kind of creepy.â Tengo put the card into his wallet. âI suspect that impression wouldnât change even if you had more time to look at him,â he said. âI always tell myself not to judge people by their appearance. Iâve been wrong in the past and had some serious regrets. But the minute I saw this man, I got the feeling that he couldnât be trusted. I still feel that way.â âYouâre not alone,â Tengo said."
"No matter how passionately or minutely he might attempt to rewrite the past, the present circumstances in which he found himself would remain generally unchanged. Time had the power to cancel all changes wrought by human artifice, overwriting all new revisions with further revisions, returning the flow to its original course. A few minor facts might be changed, but Tengo would still be Tengo."
"Tengo went on, âIâm tired of living in hatred and resentment. Iâm tired of living unable to love anyone. I donât have a single friendânot one. And, worst of all, I canât even love myself. Why is that? Why canât I love myself? Itâs because I canât love anyone else. A person learns how to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by someone else. Do you understand what I am saying? A person who is incapable of loving another cannot properly love himself.â"
"âIf you ask me, any religion that takes the end of the world as one of its central tenets is more or less bogus. In my view, the only thing that ever âendsâ is the individual. That said, the Society of Witnesses is an amazingly tough religion. Its history is not very long, but it has withstood many tests and has steadily continue to increase the number of its believers. There is a lot that can be learned from that.â âIt probably just shows how close-minded theyâve been. The smaller and narrower such a group is, the more firmly they can resist outside pressure.â âYou are probably right about that,â the man said, pausing for a few moments."
"I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning."
"Iâm just a machine. A capable, patient, unfeeling machine. A machine that draws in new time through one end, then spits out old time from the other end. It exists in order to exist."
Young though he was, his radiant energy produced such an impression of absolute reliability that Hedgewar made him the first sarkaryavah, or general secretary, of the RSS.
- Gopal Mukund Huddar
Largely because of the influence of communists in London, Huddar's conversion into an enthusiastic supporter of the fight against fascism was quick and smooth. The ease with which he crossed from one worldview to another betrays the fact that he had not properly understood the world he had grown in.
Huddar would have been 101 now had he been alive. But then centenaries are not celebrated only to register how old so and so would have been and when. They are usually celebrated to explore how much poorer our lives are without them. Maharashtrian public life is poorer without him. It is poorer for not having made the effort to recall an extraordinary life.
I regret I was not there to listen to Balaji Huddar's speech [...] No matter how many times you listen to him, his speeches are so delightful that you feel like listening to them again and again.
By the time he came out of Franco's prison, Huddar had relinquished many of his old ideas. He displayed a worldview completely different from that of the RSS, even though he continued to remain deferential to Hedgewar and maintained a personal relationship with him.