"Hey, God. I know I haven't asked for a lot in this life. Granted, I was born rich... and white... and a man... and straight. Well, except for that one time in Vegas, but that was Vegas."

"[to the Russian thug whom Carol has pinned against the pool table] You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater."

"Sam Richardson - Joel"

"Kate McKinnon - Mary Winetoss"

"Abbey Lee - Savannah"

"Fortune Feimster - Lonny"

"Oliver Cooper - Drew"

"Andrew Leeds - Tim"

"Rob Corddry - Jeremy Parker"

"Olivia Munn - Tracey Hughes"

"Jillian Bell - Trina"

"I gotta tell you, I was always like, "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," and she was like, "Words, words, words and some numbers." But she did it."

"T. J. Miller - Clay Vanstone"

"Vanessa Bayer - Allison Parker"

"Jason Bateman - Josh Parker"

"Jennifer Aniston - Carol Vanstone"

"Karan Soni - Nate Winetoss"

"Randall Park - Fred"

"Jamie Chung - Meghan"

"Da'Vine Joy Randolph - Carla"

"Ben Falcone - Doctor"

"Chloe Wepper - Kelsey"

"Adrian Martinez - Larry"

"Steve Vinovich as Miles"

"Linda Lavin as Patty"

"Nat Wolff as Justin"

"Celia Weston as Doris"

"Adam DeVine as Jason"

"Jason Orley as Lewis"

"Anders Holm as Matt"

"Rene Russo as Fiona"

"Zack Pearlman as Davis"

"Andrew Rannells as Cameron"

"JoJo Kushner as Paige"

"The truth is… something about you makes me feel calm, or more centered, or something. And I could use that. Obviously."

"C.J. Wilson as Mike"

"This big, wonderful thing you've created: It's a dream, isn't it? ...And you're gonna give that up in the hopes that your husband will stop having an affair? I don't see how that adds up. You should feel nothing but great about what you've done, and I'd hate to see you let anyone take that away from you."

"Robert De Niro as Ben Whittaker"

"I still have music in me, absolutely positive about that!"

"I just know there's a hole in my life and I need to fill it… soon."

"Back in action. Thank god!"

"Anne Hathaway as Jules Ostin"

"Christina Scherer as Becky"

"You're foul, Hart. A wart on the nose of humanity, and I'm gonna blast it off!"