films-directed-by-jared-hess

"[robe catches fire] I smell cookies."

"I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun."

"Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. Just for fun."

"Do you remember that one time when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse?"

"Underneath the robe you find a man. Underneath the man you find his nucleus."

"Get that corn outta my face!"

"I looked like a fool last night. What took you so long!?"

"It sucks to be me right now!"

"I get to lay in a bed by myself, all of my life. It's fantastic."

"Don't you want a little taste of the glory! See what it tastes like!"

"You are crasssssy!"

"I went to a wrestling match. Lucha Libre."

"[singing] When the fantasy has ended, and all the children are gone. Something good inside of me, helps me to carry on. I ate somes bugs, I ate some grass. I used my hand, to wipe my tears. To kiss your mouth, I'd break my vow. No, no, no, no, no, no, way Jose. Unless you want to then, we break our vows together! Encarnaciòn! Encarnaciòn! Encarnaciòn! [diddle-diddle-dee, diddle-diddle-dee] Encarnaciòn!"

"I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice pile-drive to the face; or a punch to the face; but you cannot do it because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor."

"Tonight, I will fight the seven strongest men in town, maybe the world. And I will win because our heavenly father will be in the ring with me. And he and I will win 10,000 pesos."

"[While taking a dump] Those guys were a couple a woosies eh."

"Well to tell you the truth."

"My life is good. Really good."

"[To a boy who doesn't want to eat his food] Be grateful, Juan Pablo. Today is especially delicious."

"[To a security guard, when he grabs Nacho's new shirt, at a party] Eh. Let go my blouse."

"I like your cow."

"Pssssst Chancho... I need to borrow some sweatssss. Chancho: are you leaving us? Nacho: No, Chancho, I would never leave you. I just need to borrow some sweatssss."

"So anyways, let's get down to the nitty gritty"

"They don't think I know a butt load of crap about the gospel. But I dooo. Okay?"

"[To some spectators at his first wrestling match] Save me a piece of that corn for later."

"Nachoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!"

"I need professional help. I need Ramses!. He's the baist. I must learn his hwaaaays."

"Anaconda Squeeze!"

"This man lived a good life. He had a wonderful woman, a lush garden,...and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he rest in peace."

"Okay. Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy... duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!"

"Those eggs were a lie, Steven. A LIE!!!! They gave me no eagle powers! They gave me no nutrients!"

"I don't want to get paid to lose! I WANNA WIN!!!!!!"

"They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients"

"Hey! Take it eeeaasy!"

"Nipple Twist!"

"[improvising a song] I am singing at the party. I am singing, it's my turn to sing at the party. Everyone is dancing, happy party. But Ramses is not dancing, he does not dance at the parties. Ramses is number one, he knows the secrets of desire [scats]. Ramses is the one, he puts the people all on fire. [Ramses throws his drink on Ignacio's shirt]"

"I don't believe in god, I believe in science"

"Nacho, I know someone who can help you"

"Summon your eagle powers!"

"I think me and my friend are ready to go pro."

"How did you get up here so fast?"

"I don't know why you always have to be judging me, just because I only believe in science."

"I hate all the orphans in the whole world!"

"Not anymore...I like them!"

"You gave them permission to hurt me like this."

"I look hideous."

"We saw you from the village... People in the village: Hola Nacho!"

"Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength. Amen."

"GET OFF ME!"

"Jack Black - Ignacio/Nacho"