"[to the viewers] Wait. What am I doin'? [on Albert] A sane adult with a law degree, crawling outta the barnyard, barking at fowls, tryin' to find some stupid duck who lays solid go.... [one second pause] Solid gold eggs! [barks 3 times to look for Charley]"

"Sandy Duncan - Katie Dooley"

"Judge: One word of caution, son. If it ever lays another gold egg, bury it. Quick."

"Tony Roberts - Fred Hines"

"Jack Bender - Arvin Wadlow"

"Ted Jordan - Mr. Forbes"

"Peter Renaday - Mr. Beckert"

"Edward Andrews - Morgan"

"At that price, he ought to have his own car!"

"Billy Bowles - Orlo Wadlow"

"What an EGGstravaganza!"

"Trinket?! Haven't you bankers ever heard of gold?"

"I wish that fool professor made enough money so I could investigate him."

"Doctor Gottlieb: Excuse me. I have to go recheck the IQ of this chimp - a hundred and forty, higher than mine."

"What a way to feather your nest!"

"Joe Flynn - Finley Hooper"

"Jack Kruschen - Doctor Gottlieb"

"Sammy Jackson - Frisby"

"Frank Wilcox - Bank Manager"

"Bryan O'Byrne - Bank Teller"

"Dean Jones - Albert Dooley"

"Frank Cady - Assayer"

"Jonathan Daly - Carter"

"Hal Smith - Courthouse Guard"

"Look Al, sweetheart. I'm only trying to save you money. I mean by making me a partner, you'll save paying me all those exorbitant lawyer's fees."

"Lee Montgomery - Jimmy Dooley"

"Virginia Vincent - Eunice Hooper"

"Oh, no; they're not taking this duck in that death trap!"

"Some husband; he wants his wife in jail!"

"It's Charlie...the webfoot wonder with the 24 karat layaway plan!"

"Jimmy, don't bother your father with that now. He's got little enough on his mind as it is."

"Oh, Albert, it makes no sense! You're spending all that money when you have a wife who could pack you a nice, little lunch!"

"Look, we are pals, pal, but where am I going to get $50, huh? I can't even pay these bills!"

"Cynthia Adler — Lady in Car / Boss Lady / Small Dyke / Lady in Elevator"

"Robert Ridgely — Car Salesman / Man at Bus Stop / Negro Gentleman / Big Fag / Police Officer / Tank"

"Walker Edminston — Bus Driver / Jail Orator / Small Fag / Prospector / Mexician Official / President / Man in Elevator"

"An adult "Cult Classic" that's a Quack-Up!"

"Wouldn't YOU Like a Good Duck Tonight?"

"Howard Kaylan — Willard / Nego Lady / Side Hack Rider"

"Madder Than Daffy. Dumber Than Donald. More Existential Than Howard!"

"You can't do this to me! I was at Woodstock in '69! I saw 200 MOTELS! I know who I am!"

"Any resemblance to ducks living or dead is purely coincidental."

"Mark Volman — Duck / Side Hack Rider"

"I don't know where you are now, but I hope you're happier there. This world didn't treat you very good, but you saved it, didn't you?"