"Recurring Voices - Mike Stoklasa, David Dore, Erica Lindbeck, Rodrigo Huerta, Chris O'Neill, Hans van Harken, Mick Lauer, Harry Partridge, David Firth, Monica Franco, Joshua Tomar, Lyle Rath"

"Additional voices (season 1) - Finn Wolfhard, Nick Wolfhard, Tom Fulp, Chills, Jason Paige, Gilbert Gottfried"

"– Charlie / Glep / various"

"– Pim / Alan / various"

"Lisa Loeb as Mary Jane Watson"

"Ian Ziering as Harry Osborn"

"Neil Patrick Harris as Peter Parker / Spider-Man"

"The better question is why do we live in a world where doors need locks?"

"How come I'm never involved in the adult conversations?!"

"Grown-ups? Last time, Siegfried and Roy dressed up like leprechauns!"

"Oh, my God. You searched my room? What happened to privacy?"

"You are the worst parents EVER! (Runs to her room and slams the door shut)"

"(To Emerson, who called Larry the enemy) No he's not! He's my dad! And I like him! You know who I don't like? You!"

"Mom, Hunter's using your copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves to discover his body, himself."

"The zebra's alive! Save yourselves and bring me back through the miracle of cloning!"

"(Imitating Gollum) My precious! Grandpa wants to take the precious! (Imitating Smeagol) But Grandpa's a friend! (Imitating Gollum) NO! Kill Grandpa!"

"I like elves!"

"(Drunk) Grandpa... this tower isn't evil... it's good!"

"I do not know you, sir!"

"Dad? Are we gonna kill Grandpa?"

"(To Larry; amazed) You know Donkey?!"

"Happiness, is being a grandparent."

"(Talking to his rug) What do you think of our new place? Oh that's right you can't hear me because I killed you and sawdust now occupies where your brain was."

"You're a fat, middle-aged, virgin panda. You deserve Nelson!"

"Larry, I just want you to know. If you were my own son... I'd be pretty disappointed, but I'd make do."

"I love him... but the kid bums me out."

"Okay listen up, you need a zebra rug, I need to get a crazy Hindu elephant off my back."

"(Talking into camera) Vegas. Where every thrill is for sale including... murder! (Makes Psycho sound effects while zooming camera in and out on zebra)"

"I don't even know why I bothered learning the numbers in maths 'cause I have found the one!"

"Siegfried: Roy is doing a good thing... WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!?"

"Roy: I am Roy! 'Allo!"

"Siegfried: Hello, security camera! Here is one crime you cannot stop! (lifts shirt) I stole a six pack."

"Roy: Magic, you fickle bitch."

"Siegfried: Roy! You must be quiet! I am watching the tube of boobs!"

"Siegfried and Roy: Activate "Rocket Pants!""

"Roy: Siegfried, have you lost your head brains?!"

"Roy: Siegfried. You are down a million dollars. I... am not going back... TO CANADA!!"

"Roy: Ja, ja, very funny. Your arm is a blade that cuts trees."

"Roy: CUE OCTOPUS!"

"Roy: Siegfried, I am not letting you give fake tickets to Matt Lauer!"

"Siegfried: (smacks Roy's hand) I do what I want. You are not the Kaiser of China!"

"(After Kate has torn up a rug) Awesome. Am I the only one turned on by this? (Kate looks at him angrily) Yes I am."

"Roy: You're right. He does interrupt."

"Siegfried: I told you. Licorice whip?"

"Roy: Yes, please. That would be lovely."

"Roy: Now we shall have the drink of the magical fairies: Sprite."

"(Elephant - Speaking very fast and worried) The turkey's just my roommate!"

"DAMN YOU CARL!"