Yes Man (film)

"No. No means no!"

"Hey Carl, do you wanna give all your money away to some homeless guy? Yes, yes I do. How 'bout letting him burn up your phone battery so that you can't call Triple-A when your car runs out of gas? You know what? That sounds like a fuckin' great idea! Why don't you take a late night stroll through the hills and get killed by the Manson family? Don't mind if I do!"

"Yes always leads to something good." "Never avoid opportunities. They may come in any form."

"Oh come on! You're already half-way through. Just snap it off, already!"

"Hey, I'm just saying "yes" to life — 'cause — you gotta say "yes" to life. I'm in a secret conevant! ... that sounded naughty!"

"I got blisters on my fingers!"

"You ever had a Red Bull? I've never had a Red Bull before, but I had a Red Bull last night — I really like Red Bull."

"She's spontaneous. She's ballsy. She has no clue what she's doing and she doesn't care. She's the complete opposite of me."

"Well, it's been a nice run. I might get shit-canned, Norm. Anyway, don't worry about it — I'm sure it will lead to something good."

"Not possible!"

"Terrence, Don't freak out..."

"The old Carl didn't think he was enough for anybody. I thought if I said yes to things, and got involved with people, then sooner or later they'd find out I'm not enough. I didn't think I had anything to share. But now I know that what I have to share is pretty huge, and I want to share it with you."

"Okay, maybe's fine. I like maybe."

"Don't call me past 11pm, it won't happen again. Happened once, it happened twice, it happened three times, maybe four times, maybe five times, maybe, maybe it happened six times, but it won't happen seven times. I'm not your late night booty call. Don't call me past 11 PM, it won't happen again. You can call me at 10:59 but don't call me at 11 — cause that's my rule now."

"I can't put my finger on you. You're unpredictable. Kind of mysterious."

"I know our music isn't that mainstream — I love doing it. It's like my photography. I know there isn't that much demand for blurry photographs taken while running — but ... you know, who cares? The world's a playground! You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it."

"How do I know if anything you did was because you wanted to or because you were following some goddamn program?"

"Life! We are all living it — or are we?"

"The word is Yes! say it a million times, say it a million more times, and the word you'd've said two-million times is… [Audience:] YES!"

"Okay, If the molehill won't come to Terrence … then Terrence will come to the molehill."

"You're dead, Carl. You say "no" to life and therefore, you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job you've had for years. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have anything close to a girlfriend. And you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs. And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui, you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate. Am I right, Carl?"

"What were you doin' in my car, you idiot?!"

"Yes is the new no! Start learning to say yes to life today!"

"Yes to adventure."

"Yes to victory."

"Jim Carrey as Carl Allen"

"Zooey Deschanel as Allison"

"Maile Flanagan as Janet"

"Bradley Cooper as Peter"

"John Michael Higgins as Nick"

"Rhys Darby as Norman"

"Danny Masterson as Rooney"

"Terence Stamp as Terrence Bundley"

"Molly Sims as Stephanie"

"Fionnula Flanagan as Tillie"

"Sean O'Bryan as Ted"

"Sasha Alexander as Lucy Barnes"

"John Cothran Jr. as Tweed"

"Luis Guzman as Jumper"