"Last year, your undercover activities caused a night swimming craze, in which two boys nearly drowned... putting me and this school in a very serious and difficult position. Now, I find you faking and forging weekend passes!"

"Boys, we have the reputation of this school to uphold, and if you won't, I assure you, I will. Consequently, I'm putting you all on final warning. One more transgression of this nature will result in your expulsion. You're all gated until further notice and banned from going to the Midlands Festival. Good day."

"Gentlemen, for your reckless behavior and complete disregard for the rules of this establishment, I have come to a decision on your punishment. Robert Black and Charles Hooper, I regret to inform you that you are no longer students of this institution; you have been expelled. Your parents have already been notified and you will be off the school premises by sunset today. And the rest of you... are suspended for three weeks and placed on absolute final warning. My patience hangs by a thread! Dismissed."

"[to Greg Anderson, Guy Emberton and Death Breath] QUIET!!! As of this instant, you, you and you are de-prefected, placed on absolute final warning and stripped of all your privileges!! Dismissed!"

"All right. I will talk no more about what you have done, if you swear never to utter a word about this."

"Boys, until your short stay at this school is mercifully over, I'm going to make you wish you'd never been born."

"Look, Milton, you need to wake up. This school, this is your shot. If you screw this up, you're going to end up like your father. Now, the way I see it, Milton, is that time is running out before Robert Black makes you do something incredibly stupid. But if you and I work together, maybe your future could be saved. Could you think about that, Milton?"

"You and your gang are going to get expelled from this school when I reveal all to the headmaster. Now, all you have to do is admit to me that what you have written here is true and maybe I'll save your miserable little future!!"

"Headmaster, if you think that the best way to protect the reputation of this school is to expel these boys, I must ask you to think again."

"The question that you must ask yourself is why. Why, why do these boys flap the rules? Why do they create hideaways and start food fights? Hmm? Well, I tell you why, Headmaster. Because instead of molding them, instead of allowing them some creative fun, Big Brother here threatens them. He beats them and stoops so low as to steal a man's diary. He has been carrying out a personal vendetta against these boys, and I have the proof of it."

"And so because of the shenanigans between one boy and his wife, he has made it his personal mission to get that boy and all of his friends expelled!"

"You have the future of this school in your hands, Headmaster. If you will trust these boys, I dare say they will make you proud."

"Mrs. Wilson: [to Robert Black, as she throws him out of the bathroom] Get out!! I told you already, this is over!"

"Troye Sivan as Spud"

"John Cleese as The Guv"

"Jason Cope as Sparerib"

"Jeremy Crutchley as The Glock"

"Sven Ruygrok as Rambo"

"Josh Goddard as Mad Dog"

"Travis Hornsby as Boggo"

"Harold Hendricks as Death Breath"

"Byron Langley as Simon"

"Tanit Phoenix as Eve"

"Charlbi Dean Kriek as Amanda"

"Aaron McIlroy as Spud's Dad"

"Julie Summers as Spud's Mom"

"Blessing Xaba as Fatty"