Seventeen Moments of Spring

"Dear pastor, politics presupposes forgetting your terms: Christ, Antichrist, good, evil. Politics presupposes the precise observance of the balance of power."

"Ah, how nice the birds sing. It's good that spring has come. You know, spring is a victory. A victory over hunger, a victory over winter. And even, if you like, a victory over death."

"Do you know what kind of herb this is? It is a wonderful medicinal herb. If you dry it, it is very good idea to make a decoction from it. You need to drink this decoction if you have kidney problems. Do your kidneys hurt? No? Too bad, because this decoction is very good for kidney problems."

"(plays chess with Stirlitz) What is this? Checkmate to me?! No, that won't do. You didn't play like that, and I didn't play like that, put it back. I'll play the Caro-Kann Defense. Just don't bother me, please."

"(Frau Saurich and Gabi visiting Stirlitz) I'd better play for you, and you two dance. I haven't seen people dance for a long time."

"Stop the Bolsheviks, don’t let them into Europe, personally I see my duty only in this."

"The material of victory has fallen into our hands. It depends on us to what extent we use it for the sake of our victory. the coalition will fall apart after the first crushing blows of our armies. (February, 1945)"

"The main thing in politics is the first step. Determination, firmness and clarity of target."

"Klaus.You just had bad luck with your cellmates, Pastor. We used to have some amazing discussions."

"During a secret meeting, an unknown SD officer silently enters Hitler's bunker, photographs the maps on the table, rummages through Keitel's briefcase, hides operational plans in his pocket, etc. "Who is this?" — Hitler asks. "This is Stirlitz, the Russian spy" — Müller answers tiredly. — "So arrest him! Are you Gestapo chief or kindergarten principal?!" — "It's pointless, mein Führer. He can always justify himself with his impeccable logic.""

"February 23, 1945. Drunk Stirlitz walks along Prinz-Albrecht-Strasse in budenovka with red star, plays the balalaika, and sings Russian obscene chastushkas about Hitler. Narrator: "Never before has he been so close to failure." (last phrase is exact quote from movie)"

""Stirlitz, are you a Jew?" — Müller asked unexpectedly. "No, no, Gruppenführer, I'm Russian!" — Stirlitz did not lose his head."

"A strong black woman in the SS Standartenführer uniform looked at Stirlitz from the mirror. "Netflix remake!" — Stirlitz guessed."

"Remember: in this world you can't trust anyone, sometimes not even yourself. You can trust only me."

"Everyone is afraid of getting a thrashing from old Müller! Have I given a thrashing to anyone at least once in my life, huh? I'm a good old man about whom rumors spread. Your handsome boss (Schellenberg) is a thousand times angrier than me. He just learned in his universities to smile and speak French. And I still don’t know how to eat an apple — cut it, or eat it the way it is customary at my home: the whole, with bones."

"It's impossible to understand the logic of a layman."

"Well, it's nice to be considered the devil, though. People die, but their memory remains. Even if it's such a memory... Heh-heh..."

"What two know, a pig knows."

"The spy eighter surrenders immediately, or doesn't surrender at all, except in rare cases, after the use of special methods by Müller's thugs."

"Truly: if you smoke American cigarettes, they will say that you have sold your homeland."

"You know too much. You will be buried with honors after a car accident."

"A little lie breeds great mistrust."

"Müller is immortal, just as detective work is immortal in this world."

"People whom I unconditionally trust speak openly to each other about the tragedy of the situation, about the stupidity of our military, the cretinism of Ribbentrop, about the blockheaded Göring, and about the terrible thing that awaits us all if the Russians break into Berlin. But Stierlitz replies: 'Nonsense, everything is fine. Things are progressing well.' Love for the motherland and the Führer is not about blindly lying to friends at work. I asked myself, maybe, he's a blockhead? After all, we've a lot of duds who mindlessly repeat Göbbels' abracadabra. No, he isn't a blockhead. Then why is he not sincere? He either doesn't trust anyone, or he's afraid of something, or he's up to something and wants to be crystal pure."

"We've few people, but a lot to do, Krueger. Damn lot to do."

"You can expect anything from the Reds. You can expect the same from the Americans, too. I've been fighting them for a year. These idiots will be destroyed by their own technology. They think that a war can be won by bombing alone. They will build up their technical power and drown in it. It will rot them like rust. They will decide that they can do anything. The Reds think so because they are wild and poor people. The Americans think so because they are too rich. That is why wars are necessary."

"States are like people. They hate a static. Borders choke them. They need movement, this is an axiom. A movement is a war."

"War is necessary one way or another. Not that stupid, of course. This is an amateur's war. He [Hitler] decided that he could fight on a whim. He alone knows what we all need. He alone loves great Germany, and we are all just thinking about how to betray it to the Bolsheviks and Americans."

"I bequeathed to my children: damn any democracy in our Reich. Every democracy in our country is fraught with only one thing: the dictatorship of petty shopkeepers. The more freedoms we have, the sooner we want the SS, the secret police, concentration camps, total fear. Only then do we feel at peace. There is no need to defend your point of view on the fate of the motherland. No responsibility. Just raise your hand in honor of the one who does this for you, just shout: 'Heil Hitler!' - and everything will immediately become clear. No worries."

"Dying is scary when you're alone. En masse — it's nothing. You can even joke."

"Happy girl, "about seven o'clock" she said. The happiest people are those who can handle their time freely."

"Anyone who works under a big chieftain inevitably loses initiative. And gains dexterity. They become analyticist, but lose the ability to make independent decisions."

"You can't be free among slaves. So isn't it better to be the freest among slaves?"

"Everyone wants to keep his hands clean, but want me do abominations."

"Who is absent is always wrong. No one is so quickly losing professionalism as a politician devoid of power."

"Fanaticism will never bring final victory. Fanaticism tires. Fanatics may win at first, but they will never maintain their victory."

"They think if I have not failed in these twenty years, then I am omnipotent. It would be nice if I became Himmler's deputy. Or even break into the Führers. Heil Stirlitz. Am I getting a grumbler?"

"More than anybody, I love old people and children."

"What happened during those two days I was outside? Did God come down to Earth? Did Kaltenbrunner marry a Jewess?"

"I don't like to be taken for a dummy in the old Polish Preference. I'm a player, not a dummy."

"More than anything else, humanity loves other people's secrets."

"(Stirlitz mentally evaluates his actions) How Pushkin sayd, What a Pushkin, what a son of a bitch? What a Shirlitz."

"(Stirlitz returns after a communication session with Moscow and is stopped by a patrol sent to catch radio operators.) They're blocking the roads to the east and south. It's logical, if you're counting on simpletons who don't know Germany, but I know Germany. You braggart. Why a braggart? If I didn't know Germany, I would have taken Erwin here, but I took him via Neukölln. Well done, Stirlitz."

"Working became difficult now. There are so many idiots saying the right words."

"They are all dreamers, our bosses. They can fantasize, they do not have a specific job. And even a trained chimpanzee in a circus can give guidance."

"I like people of few words. If a friend is silent, then this is a friend, and if an enemy, then this is an enemy. I respect them."

"What pulled you to epithets, Eissmann? It's from fatigue? Leave the epithets to our party bosses. We detectives must communicate in nouns and verbs. "He met", "she said", "he transfer"."

"It is very easy to advise others: be honest. But for himself, everyone tries to turn his dishonesty with honesty."