Rachel Maddow

"When Pat is saying something outrageous, you know when you yell at the TV? I get to yell at him in person. I get to yell at the TV and it hears me."

"When Conservatives crusade against government while they are trying to be appointed to head the government, I think that's weird!"

"The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you've just told them."

"I'm so rarely the arbiter of what all women want. I'm usually quite the outlier on that chart."

"I really believe that in America, if you are clinging to some indefensible, unconstitutional bad idea of a policy, ultimately — one day — you are going to look up from the front gate of your prison and there on the horizon will be the ACLU."

"Coming up: The part of my interview with the speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, where she smacks me down like a ball-peen hammer meeting a thumb. Ow. Ow. Ow."

"You want to know what just happened there? She smacked me down - smacked me down: "But Speaker Pelosi, the Republicans are all over the TV machine opposing the economic stimulus." "Settle down, kid. It‘s not working." Duh. Maybe she‘s right. Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal sort of put the punctuation mark on Speaker Pelosi‘s point about Republicans on TV with his response to the not state-of-the-union last night."

"Ridding Iraq of weapons of mass destruction. That was the whole idea, right? That‘s why we went. I am reluctant to let that fact disappear down the memory hole, because if — as the war ends, or at least starts to end — if, at this time, the history of the war is written as us going there to topple the regime of a bad man when that frankly isn‘t why were told that we were going there — Aren‘t we still at risk of making this horrific mistake again? And, aren‘t we letting the people who foisted the WMD idea on us, not many years ago, aren‘t we sort of letting them get away with it?"

"In other words, Bush broke what I have always called the “Amish bus driver” rule. If your religion requires you not to drive, cool beans, free country — but then you can‘t get hired to be a bus driver if your religion won‘t let you drive the bus."

"I‘ve given up trying to get invited to a cocktail party but I‘m going to the egg roll. I swear."

"Spending freeze is what made the Depression 'Great.'"

"Who's Burson-Marsteller? When evil needs public relations, evil has Burson-Marsteller on speed-dial."

"So best of luck to the Sea Shadow and its disguise-me ship, which I have to say are the most adorable multimillion dollar bits of scrap heap-bound Cold War ephemera that we have seen in a long time."

"When Blackwater killed those 17 Iraqi civilians in Baghdad, they called Burson-Marsteller. When there was a nuclear meltdown at Three-Mile Island, Babcock and Wilcox, who built that plant, called Burson-Marsteller. The Bhopal chemical disaster that killed thousands of people in India, Union Carbide called Burson-Marsteller. Romanian dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu — Burson-Marsteller. The government of Saudi Arabia, three days after 9/11 — Burson-Marsteller."

"Spending Freeze? (referring to remarks by John Boehner), the brand named policy of economic fundamental misunderstanding endorsed by more conservatives than any other proven policy failure on the market today"

"Michelle Obama: "more popular than warmth on a cold day" MSNBC (10 March 2009)"

"...teeny, teeny, teeny, tiny, tiny little..."

"RACHEL MADDOW: That‘s why we don‘t have to worry about the antichrist until after the rapture?"

"I had long blonde hair, but even as a little girl with long blonde hair, I looked like one of the Hanson boys."

"I spent the weekend curled up with the Marine Corps and Army counterinsurgency field manual—because that‘s how I roll on the weekends."

"I can't be frustrated at you because you’re stupid but I can be mad at you because you’re evil."

"Now, according to the new-fangled U.S. government, it is OK to have the gay.*"

"Not all Freudian slips are created equal."

"Maddow on Sarah Palin accepting Fed money after all: "You can see cake from her house, and you can eat it from there too.""

"Dare I say it? Congressional Republicans had a collective war-metaphor-gasm trying to make the president‘s budget seem scary."

"You see, on the landscape...there's the yelling. Into the chessboard. Upon which is a tent! For the enemy camp! Master plan!"

"War is destructive. The idea that you can do something constructive with war is becoming this facile, dangerous, intellectually lax political interpretation of military counter-insurgency theory. I want to hear [President Barack Obama] say that doesn't work. That war is never constructive."

"The bomb exploded the junk in Vladimir's trunk. Y'know, they always said that Communists would get it in the end."

"Sarah Palin is now the guy who hangs out in the high school parking lot showing off his car, five years after he graduated."

"I felt tense. He did not."

"Separate is not equal. Duh."

"Thank you Satan."

"Ron Paul supporters didn't use the term 'teabagging.' Maybe they knew how to use Urban Dictionary.com."

"Congratulations, you have been tea-bagged!"

"We're no longer officially a superpower. Please turn in your badges."

"Republican 'poutrage' over the 'handshake seen round the world.'"

"The downside of playing dumb is that you sound dumb."

"Beware the power of the pajama-clad, Cheeto-eating, twitter, blogging hordes. We are legion!"

"why does accountability keep hitting a glass ceiling?"

"Now I'm going to have nightmares about myself."

"Boy am I unqualified for that!"

"I assume people with bad arguments will just lose them."

"It's truly a blessing to have total freaking idiots as your enemy."

"I wonder what [Obama's] record would be like so far if he weren't such a fierce advocate for gay rights?"

"More drama than a junior prom, a shotgun wedding, and a paternity test all rolled into one!"

"Expressing an opinion about the news does not negate one‘s status as a news reporter or as a correspondent or as a news anchor. The expression of opinion about the news is not the difference between FOX and the rest of the news media. The difference between FOX and news is that FOX is now actively organizing and promoting a protest movement against the U.S. government."

"Constitution Doesn't Have A Preamble. Not. Nope. Stop it."

"The Republicans... are having a hard time getting their members to act as a unit instead of like a bunch of six-year-olds playing anarchist soccer; three teams, two goals, you decide."

"As you can tell, my Halloween costume this year is once again middle-aged lesbian pundit in cheap jacket. Boo."

"And it is like -50 degrees in that Dakotas right now. What would happen if Russia killed the power in Fargo today? Alright. What would happen if all the natural gas lines that service Sioux Falls just poofed on the coldest in recent memory and it wasn't in our power whether or not to turn them back on? What would you do if you lost heat indefinitely as the act of a foreign power on the same that the temperature matched the temperature in Antarctica? What would you and your family do?"