Paul DiLascia

"Does that remind you of anything? No? Give up?"

"Everything is hunky-dory and your program works fine."

"If you're totally confused, don't worry, it means your brain is functioning normally."

"That's no fun."

"...the harmony of the universe is preserved..."

"We've use a number of different adjectives to describe Span, but "cool" has never been one of them."

"...blathering store clerks who can't stop saying "Have a nice day"..."

"That's left as an exercise for the reader."

"You can't expect me to do everything."

"...everything I've said so far is fine and dandy..."

"Don't do it! (1993/10)"

"The implementation is brainless (various)"

"...[some code] looks disgusting, but that's life. (1993/6)"

"..even MSJ readers will tire of watching Bill Gates adjust his glasses. (1995/10)"

"...why are you doing these things? Don't. (1993/12)"

"What are you doing, anyway? Writing code for IBM? (1996/1)"

"Stop beating your head, you might hurt yourself. (1995/8)"

"...you'll screw everything up. (1994/10)"

"Like I said, you're damned either way. (1993/10)"

"OK, I admit it. I'm like you."

"I'm a nit, what can I say? (1994/12)"

"I was once hired to develop a Windows-based chemistry library for a company that builds reactors that burn toxic metal waste into harmless substances (really). (1993/11)"

"...I hate typing... (1993/6)"

"...yucky assembly language mucky-muck."

"Isn't C++ wonderful?."

"...this baroque language..."

"...a little-known piece of C++ trivia you can use to impress your friends and loved ones."

"...a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy..."

"...your 90MHz Pentium won't have any trouble doing arithmetic (except for certain divisions)."

"The question remains: how?"

"..flibbertiwidgets are free..."

"..play Beethovens Fifth Symphony if the user clicks the control that contains 'Da-da-da-dum'"

"If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know who wrote it"

"..I'll be laughing when I'm old and and all my programmer friends have gone alexic from staring at too many tiny pixels"

"..your two-year-old could've done that with one thumb in her mouth."

"..sometimes you have to be bad"

"Sometimes it really is easy to program MFC"

"...my Trusty Friends in Redmond..."

"...perhaps this is a "feature", not a bug...."

"To be honest, there's something a little weird about this. (1995/4)"

"But hey, I only work here. Besides, it works. (1995/6)"

"Pretty simple. Except for one little problem: it doesn't work! (various)"

"Reusability, man. (1995/10)"

"So? If you don't like it, write your own [program]. (1995/10)"

"It may seem kludgy, but hey - it works! (1994/3)"

"A bug! A bug! Isn’t it just so satisfying to discover bugs in other people’s programs? Especially people from Microsoft. I don’t know why, it’s probably some kind of Freudian code-envy thing."