Michael O'Donoghue

"I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines."

"Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy."

"Any time a whole bunch of kids like something, they find a reason to ban it. If kids suddenly started stuffing napkins into their pockets and really liked doing that, they'd find a reason to forbid it."

"The key to a successful restaurant is dressing girls in degrading clothes."

"Nothing important has ever come out of San Francisco, Rice-A-Roni aside."

"After a number of meetings, including one at the show’s, barren office space at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, [Lorne] Michaels asked O’Donoghue and Beatts to join Saturday Night. At first Beatts refused, citing her book deal and the amount of work that was needed to finish it on deadline [...] O’Donoghue, on the other hand, offered no resistance: He needed the work and he saw television as a step above the drudgery of magazines. After all, he had always been attracted to “hotter” forms and was in no way contemptuous of show business — so long as he could make it his own."

"Late April, early May, Lorne started laying out the cast. One day he’s got this really bizarre guy with smoked glasses, Michael O'Donoghue, and I’m thinking, “Oh God, what have we gotten into here?”"

"I truly think you can say that without Michael O’Donoghue, there wouldn't have been a Saturday Night Live, and I think it’s important to remember that. I think Lorne would probably be generous enough to acknowledge that."

"I’ve seen this attributed to John Lennon, but I know Michael O’Donoghue said it, because I was there when we heard Elvis died. My secretary came in and she said, “Elvis is dead,” and Michael O’Donoghue said, “Good career move.”"

"When Michael O’Donoghue got fired, he left this amazing note: “I was fired by Dick Ebersol. I did not leave the show, and if he should claim otherwise, he is, to steal a phrase from Louisa May Alcott, a lying cunt.” It’s very Michael."