Lusungu Kalanga

"Society wants women to be understood. To be moderate. We can’t be full human beings. Society cannot deal with our liminal complexity. From our early socialization, we are taught about virtue, being nice, being respectful and of course all this is tied to being palatable for men. On the other hand, men are taught how to want and get, to speak up, to be served, to desire and take and to decide things on their own. For instance, to date, for those women who decide to enter marriage and have children, the blunt of child care falls heavily on them. There are so many stories of women giving up on their careers and being “strong” because of their children or to keep the peace in marriage. Women’s suffering is romanticized and normalized as a part of our womanhood. For men, it is majorly not a consideration. Women are judged harshly for putting their careers first with questions like “upita ku school, ana akhala ndi ndani?” that are laced with guilt tripping and the assumption that a woman must remain the primary caregiver at home."

"It doesn’t get any better in the political space. I’m angry that women’s stories continue to be erased. The secretaries who made major contributions to the freedom struggle. The women who mobilized against the one-party state…where are their holidays? when do we celebrate them? It is also very interesting to me how in this day and age, when a man fails, he is judged in his individual capacity but when a woman fails we still claim all women have failed. The best example is our former president Dr Joyce Banda. Because she was voted out, many people (read men and pick me women aka patriarchy princesses and gate keepers) bundled women as a homogenous group who had all failed. But I also find this argument factually untrue per Malawian standards and the presidents we have had so far. Did she really fail? Who are we comparing her to? I understand that we can’t measure leadership based on other failures but neither should we base it on gender."

"If I can do it, you can! There are so many people who are willing to help, reach out to them, including me! Remember; “You are going to want to give up. Don’t.”"