John Hoover (consultant)

"After studying idiot bosses for more than two decades, I finally understand why females in certain species eat their young."

"Idiot Bosses are mutant hiccups of organizational evolution with cockroach-like immunity to calamities that wipe out truly talented and creative people."

"Active idiots carry their dysfunction into positions of leadership and remain oblivious to the havoc they wreak."

"Our own flaws are almost incredibly irritating when they show up in the words and actions of someone with power and authority over us."

"Your Idiot Boss needs to feel that someone is on his side, in his corner, and has his back. Find times to support your Idiot Boss, especially in his times of uncertainty and doubt."

"When dumb and dumber are running organizations, corporations, and government agencies, it's not funny anymore."

"Some idiots are granted the freedom to do whatever they want to do - and have unlimited resources to do so. They will also receive complete anonymity on demand, no accountability - and not lift a finger to make it all possible."

"Why must intelligent people suffer from worry, fear, and anxiety while idiots sleep well at night?"

"What purpose is being served by keeping idiots oblivious to the carnage they create?"

"I never realized what it was really like to work for an idiot until I started working for myself."

"If an employee does something wonderful, an I-Boss might feel a twinge of humiliation. He can take steps to make the employee feel what he's feeling. That's why team members who do good things are routinely embarrassed or humiliated by their I-Bosses."

"If an I-Boss isn't sure whether something a team member does is good or bad, he is likely to err on the side of bad and seize control of the situation."

"You can't let your I-Boss know you're training him."

"Your I-Boss may have a greater emotional investment in getting things done right than he is willing or able to admit."

"Don't feel dirty or guilty for kissing up. It's survival."

"Note what types of behavior they approve of and start behaving accordingly."

"Idiots lack imagination, coupled with the tunnel vision - means the ship will be submerged before they realize it hit an iceberg. You not only need to do or say things that warrant attention, you need to exaggerate them so much he can't possibly fail to notice."

"Deliberately scheme how you can be a positive influence in your working environment."

"There is nothing more miserable to a boss than a detractor."

"Sometimes what appears to be an idiot is just a regular person with idiosyncrasies."

"The only stupidity we can deal with is our own."

"Once you have become a transcendent idiot - one who can reflect upon his personal condition and circumstances—you can no longer wander back into the idiot population and disappear."

"Admitting powerlessness is the first step to recovery. Subsequent steps will reveal who has the power and how you can tap into it to achieve your own serenity."

"You are ultimately your own boss, even if you report to someone else."

"Good bosses provide a constant flow of clear and concise information and encourage you and the rest of your team to do the same."

"Uncertainty always leads to uneasiness."

"People who habitually speak positively of others tend to do so in all circumstances. Those who tend to criticize others in your presence and recruit you to agree with their cutting remarks will probably criticize you when you are out of the room."

"Good Bosses are aware that sharing information in a thorough, timely manner makes people feel included, respected, and acknowledged for their ability to contribute. And they are receptive to feedback - all the time."

"Good Bosses treat those with more power the same way they treat those with less power."

"Being a Good Boss is so easy, it makes you wonder why anyone would invest the extra effort and energy required to be a bad one."

"The equitable treatment of all team members is nearly as important in the workplace as communication."

"Fairness in the office simply means applying the rules fairly, equally, and without regard for workplace political alliances."

"When you have a bad boss, chances are that somebody is up to no good."

"I've seen heads of families bypass talented, capable, loyal, dedicated, lifelong employees to hand their businesses over to a son or daughter. Typically, the first generation establishes the business, the second generation grows it, the third generation barely sustains it, and the fourth generation destroys what is left."

"There are people who think they're God. Thinking you're God transcends God Bosses play church. ...He is playing God to compensate for a tremendous lack of confidence.'"

"Lose the battles to win the war. Ask for forgiveness. Acknowledge his presence. Don't make the mistake of ignoring him. His ease is your ease. If your attitude is resentful, he will bring thunder and lightning on your head and on the heads of your coworkers."

"Machiavellian Bosses view the universe as an enormous pyramid. There is one spot at the top and it belongs to them, by divine right. It is not about you. And it will never be about you, except for the moment you are actually in their way."

"Telling God and Machiavellian Bosses what they want to hear is always your best bet."

"Turning down a Machiavellian invitation can be interpreted as resistance or a possible power move on your part."

"Learning a new cadence will serve you better than forming your own drum line. You'll probably just frustrate yourself and you boss, who in turn will drum you out."

"Masochistic Bosses attract codependents like flies to a Sunday picnic. They are about as uplifting as a boar anchor."

"Masochistic Bosses make sure their departments fail so upper management will deal out punishment."

"Telling Sadistic Bosses what they want to hear, like "...ouch," will only get them charged up to do more punishment... Try pretending you're a masochist. If your performance is convincing... you'll be out in a flash."

"To Paranoid Bosses, everything and everybody is out to get them, including you."

"Paranoia can feed on itself and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Paranoid Boss spends his energy searching out and exposing the conspiracy against him. The focus and leadership that should have been committed to departmental objectives is wasted and whole operation goes in the tank - thus confirming the paranoid boss's contention."

"If escaping your paranoid boss is not easy, keep your activities in plain site; copy your Paranoid Boss on everything; spend more time with him; share the knowledge, share secrets - some of your inner thoughts, within reason."

"Deciding not to intentionally do things to shape your environment... will help bring about the environment you don't want. Inaction around the office is innocuous."

"If you are equally as emotionally needy as your Buddy Boss, it could be a marriage made in heaven, although I would rather go to another heaven."

"Invite you Buddy Boss to everything. Share information openly... Request meetings. Beware of the confessional. Your Buddy Boss will devote endless hours to hearing your confessions and making hers to you - a potential disconnect from getting any appreciable work done. Set time limits."

"Getting along with her requires ignoring everything you're being paid to do. Dedicated workers get hit the hardest because they must work nights and weekends to do the things they would have done. With luck, you might be transferred to an Idiot Boss."