Friday the 13th (2009 film)

"Hey Mikey, wear a condom! An extra small one."

"May the Force be with your Schwartz!"

"There's something in there. Looks like some kind of a doll."

"Oh my God, babies have more space in the uterus."

"Shoot the boot!"

"Fine. To all the felching, welching, pussies of the world!"

"[looking at a stuffed bobcat] That is a fierce pussy."

"In my next life, I want to come back as one of the buttons on the asspocket of her jeansshorts."

"Hey! Here's to daddy issues and fucking douchebags. Let's just all be one big happy cliché!"

"Hi, my name is Trent. My daddy bent me over this chair and beat me when I was little, so you need to fix it."

"Are you looking for this? Because, uh, it completes your outfit."

"Hey. Now, this is a real man's sport. You're even curved to the left, like my penis."

"They don't call me the "wood wizard" because I masturbate a lot."

"Are you kidding? I have a better shot at fucking a penguin than that girl."

"Jesus Christ! Fuckin' lucky there, Stretch! You came about that close to hittin' the start button on the whup-ass machine, boy!"

"I forgot, did you want to buy some weed? Seriously, I sprung a fucking shit-ton of it growing out there, a little bushel. Sell you some."

"It's your fuckin' loss, dude! It'll fuck your shit up, boy. Good times. Fucker."

"[to mannequin] It's been a long time, Gina. You remember that special night we had? You remember when you took my virginity? You're sexy. You're still tight as ever. I wanna fuckin' pound you so hard."

"[sees Jason unmasked] What the fu-? That shit ain't fuckin' right dude!"

"Oh, you like that? You like the balls in your hand, huh?"

"I don't care about your damn lip, this is a family heirloom!"

"Your tits are stupendous!"

"This better not go on the fucking internet..."

"Your tits are like... so juicy babe!"

"Did you forget how to drink that? Just put it to your lips, blow, and suck."

"Well, you do know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?"

"I'm close, baby!"

"Welcome to Crystal Lake."

"Jason lives. Many will die."

"Prepare for the day everyone fears..."

"You know his name. You know the story. On Friday the 13th, witness his resurrection..."

"Jared Padalecki - Clay Miller"

"Danielle Panabaker - Jenna"

"Amanda Righetti - Whitney Miller"

"Travis van Winkle - Trent"

"Aaron Yoo - Chewie"

"Derek Mears - Jason Voorhees"

"Jonathan Sadowski - Wade"

"Julianna Guill - Bree"

"Ben Feldman - Richie"

"Arlen Escarpeta - Lawrence"

"Ryan Hansen - Nolan"

"Willa Ford - Chelsea"

"Nick Mennell - Mike"

"America Olivo - Amanda"