E. W. Howe

"When you hear that a certain man is so good that he wants to help everybody, you may depend upon it that he started the story."

"Men are virtuous because the women are; women are virtuous from necessity."

"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep."

"A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back."

"Having fun is a dismal business after you pass fifty."

"People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy."

"So many of the optimists in the world don't own a hundred dollars, and because of their optimism, never will."

"There is usually enough of everything on the table except cream."

"To want your own way is a very bad habit, for you will never get it."

"When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time."

"As a rule, you'll not have much trouble having your way, if you are right."

"No man has all the wisdom in the world; everyone has some."

"No man knows where his business ends and his neighbor's begins."

"A man needs a friend not to flatter him, but to strengthen him at his weak points."

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to learn to take a hint easily."

"Always remember that if a man knows where he can make a dollar, he will not tell you about it; he will go after it himself."

"The trouble in the world is nearly all due to the fact that one-half of the people are men, and the other half women."

"Abusing the prosperous in order to curry the favor of the envious, is an old game that still works better than it should."

"Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy."

"Every time you become confidential with some people, you hear of a new kind of dirty trick."

"Another thing which is about as sure as death and taxes, is that no man can go on bluffing indefinitely without being called."

"A small man always has one weapon he can use against a great big man: he can "talk" about him."

"I have noticed that my likes and dislikes do not create any great excitement. And how people try to get away when I attempt to talk!"

"However disagreeable a situation is to you, you cannot get rid of it by indignation."

"Every man has a long list of things that should be done, but which he knows can't be done. Yet he continues to talk about them as long as he lives."

"The experience of the world is worth more than the experience of any one man."

"When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face."

"Silliness which would have broken a politician twenty years ago, now makes his fortune."

"We are now confronted with the necessity of remedying the remedies."

"When half the people believe one thing, and the other half another, it is usually safe to accept either opinion. The Democrats are as good as the Republicans, and the Catholics as good as the Protestants."

"A man who does not fool himself seldom cares much about fooling others. But the man who claims to have seen a ghost wants everybody else to believe in ghosts."

"Of living creatures, business men are nearest sane; their philosophy is as accurate as their multiplication table."

"I know what women expect, and give it to them without disagreeable argument; they'll get it anyway."

"A loafer never works except when there's a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody."

"Kauppiaalla on sian sielu, lampaan aivut ja koirran omatunto. (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (HSP)"