Ban Zhao

"At the age of fourteen I was married and took up the dustpan and broom in the family of my husband. I feared always I might make my family ashamed and increase the difficulties of my husband's family. Day and night I was sick of heart but I worked without admitting my weariness. Now I know how to escape from such fears. But I grieve that you, my daughters, have not had the training which could have helped me. So I have written these chapters called "Lessons for Women." I wish that each of you would make a copy for yourself."

"Womanly appearance requires neither a pretty nor a perfect face or form."

"A woman (ought to) have four qualifications: (1) womanly virtue; (2) womanly words; (3) womanly bearing; and (4) womanly work. Now what is called womanly virtue need not be brilliant ability, exceptionally different from others. Womanly words need be neither clever in debate nor keen in conversation. Womanly appearance requires neither a pretty nor a perfect faceand form. Womanly work need not be work done more skillfully than that of others. To guard carefully her chastity; to control circumspectly her behavior; in every motion to exhibit modesty; and to model each act on the best usage, this is womanly virtue. To choose her words with care; to avoid vulgar language; to speak at appropriate times; and not to weary others(with much conversation), may be called the characteristics of womanly words. To wash and scrub filth away; to keep clothes and ornaments fresh and clean; to wash the head and bathe the body regularly, and to keep the person free from disgraceful filth, may be called the characteristics of womanly bearing. With whole-hearted devotion to sew and to weave; to love not gossip and silly laughter; in cleanliness and order (to prepare) the wine and food for serving guests, may be called the characteristics of womanly work. These four qualifications characterize the greatest virtue of a woman. No woman can affordto be without them. In fact they are very easy to possess if a woman only treasure them in her heart. The ancients had a saying: "Is Love afar off? If I desire love, then love is at hand!" So can it be said of these qualifications."