Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle."

"The little man on the wedding cake."

"If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me."

"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches."

"I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development."

"I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway."

"I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both."