"[If Chris shot the squirrel] [Chris: Bullseye!] What are you doing? How could you do that? Chris, that is so effed up…"

"For Pete's sake. My clothes, really?! Whichever one of you did this is off my Christmas list. Seriously, not cool, gu…"

"You need to listen to me, I don't care if you believe me or not. Doesn't matter, because you will. You need to go dow…"

"Come on, guys, we're all friends here, right? No need for violence, just a little harmless fun! We're up in the woods…"

"Oh, fuck nuggets!"

"Shutters are shuttered."

"Jesus hot sauce Christmas cake, this is fucking unbelievable."

"[After picking up a matchbox] Lookie-lookie, who's gonna fire up some nookie. [Jessica: You've been dying to use that…"

"[After lighting a fireplace] Man one, fire zero. [Jessica: [Claps her hands] Very nice. Bravo.]"

"Don't you guys think this is a little bit cruel?"