"When your father was a boy like you, and living with me here in Norway, I told him about witches too, so that he would always be aware. Now, the most important thing you should know about real witches is this - now listen very carefully! Real witches dress in ordinary clothes, and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses, and they work in ordinary jobs."

"Anne Lambton - Woman in Black"

"Brenda Blethyn - Mrs. Jenkins"

"Annabel Brooks - Nicola Cuttle"

"Rose English - Dora,"

"Charlie Potter - Bruno Jenkins"

"[after being turned into a mouse, to Mrs. Jenkins] You always wanted me to lose weight. Well, look at me now."

"Angelique Rockas - Henrietta"

"Nora Connolly - Beatrice"

"[after zapping a witch into a pile of ashes] I hope nobody else is going to make me cross today."

"Anjelica Huston - Eva Ernst / The Grand High Witch"

"Jasen Fisher - Luke Eveshim,"

"Mai Zetterling - Helga Eveshim"

"Bill Paterson - Mr. Jenkins"

"Rebecca Lynne Loftin Wagner as Jayme/Red"

"Nicholas Rutherford as Lenjamin Caine"

"Jacob Batalon as Krill"

"Byron Brown as Mac"

"Chris Doubek as Roger Hinckley"

"Tate Donovan as Dr. Conway"

"Seychelle Gabriel as Sam"

"The clowns I found on Craigslist."

"But children - children, we have a problem. Horror is dead. I mean, look around you! Our vampires glitter! Our zombies have become soap opera stars! Our slashers have grown dull and old. We put Freddy on a lunchbox! We put Lovecraft in a coloring book! We have overconsumed and overproduced, and we have taken what was forbidden, what was dangerous, and we have made it common."

"Owen Egerton as Anthony Walsh"

"She thought Black Christmas was a Tyler Perry movie."

"Barbara Dunkelman as Ashley"

"Robbie Kay as Dax"

"What the (bleep)?"

"Guilty as charged."

"Hey, I'm into some freaky shit myself. But even I have my limitations."

"We'd like to thank you all for coming to this very special occasion, but right now, I would like a little privacy."

"Really more nightmare material."

"My ex-wife is back."

"I think it was Dostoevsky that said..."Later, fucker!""

"Spill your guts. Who wants to go first? Alright, I will. [opens his shirt and his guts spill out like eels] See? I'm willing to do the work."

"You know, Bob, long distance relationships can be difficult, especially when one of you is dead and the other is ignoring you for thirty years. But Lydia and I, we have definite psychic connection, and I'll tell you something, she definitely saw me that last time. I felt a little tingle."

"First of all, I want you two kids know, this is a safe space, okay? Feel free to express yourself. Don't be afraid. I sense an enabler here, but we'll get to that."

"I'm needed upstairs. Bob, hold down the fort."

"The juice is loose."

"I swear on my dead mother's soul."

"I've never seen that chick before in my life or afterlife."

"Really? Is this a figment of your imagination?"

"Bob, you and the boys stand guard. Nobody gets through."

"Should've got married in Vegas."