Sanjaya Malakar

"Sonia Mowlicker."

"I can’t tell you. I would say that if I did, I would have to kill you, but that wouldn’t be polite."

"I drove a bus down Sunset Boulevard once, and I didn’t kill anyone."

"How can you look at this and not see it as the symbol for the self-referencing nature of progressive evolution."

"I didn't know people had that much water in them!"

"I just wanted to sing on TV."

"When life gives you lemons, get tequila and salt."

"Sour patch kids gone wild."

"Let's give them something to talk about, other than H A I R!"

"I like singing in the street, so if you saw a little Indian kid walking on the street singing loudly, that was probably me."

"I would have Simon Cowell sing 'Shiny Happy People' by R.E.M. just to show his true personality."

"I hope she saw the passion, and no need to tell Mark Anthony about it."

"I learned the hula, so now I know how to shake my booty Hawaiian style."

"Thank you! Welcome to the Universe of Sanjaya!"

"I don't eat sugary cereal."