Maurizio Crozza

"Both in the theatre and on television, I have often drawn on Giorgio Gaber's clear and witty insights: from Il potere dei più buoni to Il conformista, Gaber has always come to my rescue. Gaber and Luporini's insight into human weaknesses is extremely sharp. Their ability to see far ahead, to write about and anticipate the thinking of many, makes them incredibly relevant today."

"My solidarity goes out to Silvio Berlusconi.* When have you ever seen a journalist ask the head of government disrespectful questions? A good journalist doesn't take the initiative; a good journalist writes what is dictated to them. (Referring to Silvio Berlusconi's defamation lawsuit against the newspaper 'La Repubblica', after he signed the appeal in defence of the newspaper)."

"But if Renzi did all this to Letta, who was his friend, what can he do to us Italians, who he doesn't even know?"

"By now, the whole of Italy is a GMO country: Genetically Mouldy Organism."

"[...] In this country, wherever you look, there's always a conflict of interest involving relatives, isn't there? If it's not Boschi's father, it's Lupi's son; if it's not Cancellieri's son, it's Fini's brother-in-law; and if it's not Fini's brother-in-law, it's Alemanno's entire family tree. But why don't we just appoint ministers who don't have families? For Home Affairs, Remi; for Foreign Affairs, Oliver Twist; for Constitutional Reform, Bambi; I don't know, for Infrastructure, Heidi. Ah, no. Better not Heidi, in case it turns out her grandfather was vice president of Monte dei Paschi for twenty years."

"Regarding the Cirinnà bill, I said "civil unions", but in Italy, they're not called that because the law refers to them as "specific social formations". How romantic. [...] Because Catholics don't want us to say "marriage", they've changed the name. Do you want to have the ceremony? Yes, you can have the ceremony, but you have to call it an "elegant parental gathering". The cake? [...] Don't call it a cake; call it a "puppeteered layered cream creation"."

"[...] Family Day defends the traditional family, the one that comes directly from the Holy Scriptures, [...] like the family of Abraham, Abraham's family, who wanted to sacrifice his son Isaac. No, all right, let's put Abraham's family to one side for a moment, shall we… So, um, the family… like Jacob's family. Jacob, who had four wives. No, let's put that one to one side for a moment… And… Ah, well, there's always the Joseph and Mary family. Joseph and Mary: he was seventy and she was sixteen. And do we really want to talk about how they conceived their son, huh? But you know what... off the top of my head, I can't think of that many traditional families in the Bible..."

"And what about Rutelli, who created the Terzo Polo? Aren't you coming to see him? But Rutelli, why did you create the Terzo Polo? 'Because one in two Italians asked me to.' Why do I always meet the other one in two Italians? (p. 7)"

"Ignazio La Russa, a man who hasn't even tried the sunbed, has gone straight for the napalm. Ignazio La Russa is one of the jewels of Italialand, isn't he? He's a mythological figure; he's not even a human being: he's half man, half intercom – he's the 'Ignaziotauro'. Since he went to war with Libya, he hasn't understood a thing; he's as happy as a clam. Badoglio also appeared to him in a dream and told him: 'Go, Ignazio, take Libya back for us.' (p. 10)"

"But at times, Berlusconi is great. Like when he said that wonderful thing: 'Yes, it's true, I paid Ruby, but only to stop her from working as a prostitute.' I was expecting her to say, 'Yes, I gave it to him, but only to stop him going with prostitutes.' Do you get it? He paid her so she wouldn't have to work as a prostitute. It's like paying a tiler, but without getting them to fit the bathroom. (p. 13)"

"Imagine what 'Bella Ciao' would be like today. It would be a Gipsy Kings compilation [...] 'One morning | I woke up | oh bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao, ciao, ciao.' | | One morning | I woke up and went | to Decathlon! | A T-shirt, six ninety | I'll get three, I'll get three, I'll get three, three, three, | and the avalanche backpack, | plus three ice axes and the sleeping bag!” (p. 27)"

"Treasure Planet"