Wag the Dog

"Woody Harrelson - Sergeant William Schumann"

"I was just on my way to get drunk."

"Dustin Hoffman - Stanley Motss"

"Robert De Niro - Conrad Brean"

"Anne Heche - Winifred Ames"

"Denis Leary - Fad King"

"Willie Nelson - Johnny Dean"

"Andrea Martin - Liz Butsky"

"Kirsten Dunst - Tracy Lime"

"William H. Macy - CIA Agent Charles Young"

"John Michael Higgins - John Levy"

"A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

"All combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four map segments."

"54, 40 or fight. What does that mean?...Remember the Maine...Tippecanoe and Tyler, too...They're war slogans Mr. Motss. We remember the slogans, we can't even remember the fucking wars. Y'know why? Cause its show business. That's why I'm here. Naked girl, covered in Napalm. Five marines Raising the Flag, Mount Suribachi. V for Victory, Y'remember the picture, fifty years from now, they'll have forgotten the war. Gulf War? Smart bomb, falling down a chimney. Twenty five hundred missions a day, 100 days, one video of one bomb Mr. Motss. The American people bought that war."

"This is a shitty business, and it needs no ghosts coming from the grave to tell us so. But Lord willing and Jesus tarries, in eight days I will be taking you into the second term."

"Can't have a war without an enemy...You could have one, but it would be a very dull war..."

"You take the fruit of 40 years - hard lessons, mistakes - and you call it wisdom."

"This is nothing. D'you ever shoot in Italy? Try three Italian starlets wacked out on Benzedrine and grappa, this is a walk in the park..."

"Y'know, producing is being a Samurai warrior. They pay you, day in, day out, for years, so that, ONE DAY, when called upon, you can respond, your training at Its peak, and save the day."

"The war ain't over til I say it's over. This is my picture. You think you're in a spot? You think this is a tight spot? Try making the Hunchback of Notre Dame when your three lead actors die, two weeks from the end of principal photography."

"Look at that! That is a complete fucking fraud, and it looks 100% real. This is the best work I've ever done in my life - because it's so honest."

"That's right. During the filming of 'The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,' three of the horsemen died two weeks before the ending of principle photography. This is nothing, this is nothing. This is... this is... this is act one- The War."

"Johnny, I got a lot of people here who are a little depressed because the war just ended, please give me a new song."

"King, King, I got a thing here, a product placement, gonna have a bigger back-end than Hattie McDaniel."

"Corny? He says it's corny? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't be doing the flippin' thing if it wasn't corny."

"Oh, God. What do we do now? Huh? Huh? What do we do now, huh, boy producer? Huh? Mister win-an-Emmy, social-conscience, whale-shit, save-the-rain-forest, peacenik-commie, fuckin'-hire-a-convict-shithead? Huh? What do we do now, liberal, affirmative action, shithead, peacenik commie fuck? What do you want to do now?"

"There are two things I know to be true. There's no difference between good flan and bad flan, and there is no war."

"When the fit hits the shan somebody's going to have to stay after school."

"Albania's hard to rhyme."

"Ich weiß, dass zwei Dinge wahr sind. Jeder schmeckt den Unterschied zwischen gutem und schlechtem Strudel. Und es gibt keinen Krieg."

"Sie möchten, dass ich ihren Krieg produziere?"

"Es ist wie ein Klempner; wenn du es gut machst, merkt es niemand, aber wenn du es vermasselst, ist alles voller Scheiße."

"Heute einen guten Plan ist besser als morgen einen perfekten Plan."

"Der Krieg ist vorbei, ich hab es im Fernsehen gesehen."

"Hauptdarsteller:"

"Erschienen: 1997"

"Genre: Satire"

"Drehbuch: Larry Beinhart, Hilary Henkin"

"Regie: Barry Levinson"