"What Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange."

"I'm not used to winning nothing – it's the first time it's happened to me. I'm disappointed. It's a failure."

"I'm number one. I really feel that way. If you think you are the second it's the end. The fact that I have never won …"

"I went left, he went left. I went right, he went right. I went left again, he went to buy a hot dog."

"During the World Cup in 2002 I was voted Man of the Match three times in Sweden, even though I hadn't played. The peo…"

"An injured Zlatan is a properly serious thing for any team."

"I score a lot of goals that are hard to replicate. I don't think that you can score as spectacular a goal as those of…"

"When the red card happened the worst thing was the Chelsea players. I felt there were 11 babies around me."

"I came like a king, left like a legend."

"Give them a bicycle with my autograph and that will be enough."