"I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, …"

"If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face."

""It never occurred to us that William Shakespeare wrote the Wizard of Oz. However, Elliot Garfield makes a splendid W…"

"Miss McFadden, today I begin rehearsals for my first New York play. It will be the most important day of my life. Am …"

"My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want thi…"

"What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?"

"You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best ha…"

"You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate."

"You're not the only one who can yell rape, you know."

"Thank you Neil Simon for making us laugh at falling in love…again."