"However, I will be teaching you malodorous meerkats how to be men! You will learn about women and sex. And if I do my…"

"The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven, Would through the a…"

"Troye Sivan as John "Spud" Milton"

"John Cleese as Mr. "The Guv" Edly, an alcoholic English teacher"

"Tanit Phoenix as Mrs. "Eve" Wilson"

"Jeremy Crutchley as Mr. Glockenshpeel ("The Glock")"

"Jamie Royal as Henry "Gecko" Barker"

"Sven Ruygrok as Robert "Rambo" Black"

"Josh Goddard as Charlie "Mad Dog" Hooper"

"Good God. Horror, horror, horror! Tongue nor heart; cannot conceive or name thee! May all the trumpets speak; give th…"