"The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters."

"Fat men get knocked over by buses no earlier, nor later, than thin men. And I, for one, have buried most of my thin f…"

"I never really had any aspirations to be an actor when I was young. I wanted to play the piano in a bar, to be the ol…"

"If I do decide one day to stop acting, I just hate the idea of people going: 'Oh, did you ever do anything else besid…"

"I don't really know how to act, I kind of wanted to somehow make it real, and one of the ways I've always thought mak…"

"It's got so that every time I walk into a restaurant, I get not only soup but an impersonation of Captain Bligh."

"I have a face like the behind of an elephant."

"All his tough talk is a blind, you know. He's a literate, gracious, kind man, with wonderful manners, and he speaks b…"

"They can't censor the gleam in my eye."

"I knew in a flash Gary had something I should never have. It is something pure and he doesn't know it's there. In tru…"