"[picking up a vinyl record] Ahh Graham Nash — Songs For Beginners. Just... just the album cover alone, look at that f…"

"Oh, bullshit! You stink like a shrink. You got shrink hands. You ordered your salad like a shrink."

"Nobody has a right to look that good. She's just trouble for everybody."

"I don't need to talk about her or look at pictures... 'cause the truth is, a lot of times, I see her... on the street…"

"I have no one. At least you two have each other. [Charlie kisses Ginger Timplemen, his mother-in-law, on her cheek an…"

"Better bring out the big guns on this one. She's crazy with a side of crazy!"

"I was stuck in Charlie's World, I couldn't leave"

"In a city of millions, finding one can change your whole life."

"Live every day like it's the best day of your life."

"You're a good husband Alan. You remind me of me."