"[to Dick and Linda Christie] I'm going home. I think today I'm gonna brush all my teeth!"

"[in a dream sequence to Dream Sharon] Sorry I had to slap you around, but you got hysterical when I said, "No more.""

"[to Linda Christie] I had to go to Washington once when I was married, and though I was the one leaving, I got sick, …"

"No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to."

"I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists."

"I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."

"[to Linda Christie] Look. Last night you felt like a woman, and I felt like a man . . . And that's the kind of thing …"

"[to Allan Felix and Diane Christie] The two of you should get married and move into a hospital."

"Somewheres in life you got turned around. It's her job to smell good for you."

"I wonder if she actually had that orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?"