"I do not take any credit to my better-balanced head because I never went crazy on Presbyterianism. We go too slow for that. You never see us ranting and shouting and tearing up the ground, You never heard of a Presbyterian going crazy on religion. Notice us, and you will see how we do. We get up of a Sunday morning and put on the best harness we have got and trip cheerfully down town; we subside into solemnity and enter the church; we stand up and duck our heads and bear down on a hymn book propped on the pew in front when the minister prays; we stand up again while our hired choir are singing, and look in the hymn book and check off the verses to see that they don't shirk any of the stanzas; we sit silent and grave while the minister is preaching, and count the waterfalls and bonnets furtively, and catch flies; we grab our hats and bonnets when the benediction is begun; when it is finished, we shove, so to speak. No frenzy, no fanaticism --no skirmishing; everything perfectly serene. You never see any of us Presbyterians getting in a sweat about religion and trying to massacre the neighbors. Let us all be content with the tried and safe old regular religions, and take no chances on wildcat."
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Comedians from the United StatesHumorists from the United StatesNovelists from the United StatesShort story writers from the United StatesSatirists from the United States
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
The New Wildcat Religion
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mark_Twain
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Related Quotes
"Land of religions, cradle of human race, birthplace of human speak, grandmother of legacy, great grandmother of tradiβ¦"
"Land of religions, cradle of human race, birthplace of human speech, grandmother of legend, great grandmother of tradβ¦"
"It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient."
"India had the start of the whole world in the beginning of things. She had the first civilization; she had the first β¦"
"The spider was so contrived that she would not eat grass, but must catch flies, and such things, and inflict a slow aβ¦"
"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever."
"I'll risk forty dollars that he can outjump any frog in Calaveras county."
"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run."
"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest."
"I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog."