"[distracting Michael with a chunky monkey] Hey biggun'. Playtime's over."

"[after walking into Sandford with a ton of weapons and ammo on him] Morning."

"Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll."

"[after stopping Danny's swan call] That's just going to scare it."

"Absolute tosh, wasn't it? It's annoying that the understudies are actually professional actors. Greg over there was a…"

"GET! [punch] OUT! [punch] OF MY! [punch] VILLAGE! [punch], [while fighting Angel]."

"My, my. Here come the Fuzz."

"I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts of secrets would come tumbling out..."

"[taking a ginger-haired boy hostage] Stay back! Or the ginger-nut gets it! [the child bites Skinner's hand and runs a…"

"[after a farmer called Peter Ian Staker has phoned up about a lost swan] P.I. Staker... Right. Pisstaker! Come on!"