"You guys wanna know something real fucked up and awesome that I did? I took a Korean guy's toothbrush and I rubbed it…"

"[Discovers that Kumar has brought weed on the airplane] You brought weed on the fucking airplane?!"

"Watch out for cheetahs! This is cheetah turf!"

"Oh, yeah! Yeah, it's sweet! 'Cuz we're fugitives. Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes!"

"[Dressed in KKK clothes after coming to a KKK barbeque and was asked to say 1 racist thing you did in the week] I did…"

"Jesus, Kumar. I don't like it so much."

"[Reciting the poem 'The Square Root of 3'] I fear that I will always be / A lonely number like root three / A three i…"

"Dude, whats a blumpkin?"

"Meet the smokeless bong"

"His dick smells like shit dude!"