"Gags the whole town will be telling! Songs that will burst your bathroom walls! BOY HOW THEY HAND IT OUT!"

"A wild crazy nightmare of fun!"

"I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home."

"Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you."

"[locked in a closet] Hey let me out! Let me out of here, or throw me a magazine!"

"I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school."

"Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot. But don't let that fool you. He really is a…"

"[on a telephone] Get me headquarters. Not hindquarters, headquarters!"

"Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."

"Edmund Breese - Zander"