"When somebody gives you directions, don't you get so anal about their directions? They give you the directions and the entire time driving you're just cutting down their directions. You're like this, "Okay, take take a left at the red house." "That's fucking maroon, you idiot!" Why is it the street you're looking for always has a tree from the Mesozoic Era growing around the sign? You're looking for like Mount Vernon and all you see is like the N, and you drive by going, "That was probably it. You think that was it? That was probably it." There's always the point in the directions that they always write in parenthesis, "Uh, if you hit the train tracks, you've gone too far." And right when you read that, [imitates running over train tracks] "Fuck.""
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Comedians from the United StatesStand-up comedians from the United StatesActors from MassachusettsPeople from Boston
Original Language: English
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https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dane_Cook
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Dane Cook
21 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Dane Cook β
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