"There are two things for Brother Harris this week. The bad thing is, he has to cover me. The good is he can save 15 p…"

"On the highway, I hit a deer. I kept him. He's at home in the garage on the rafters. I'm going to use him for the cel…"

"(After kicking an extra point in a Bengals preseason game) Esteban' Ochocinco is back, the most interesting footballe…"

"I'm struggling to … change a lot of people's minds about buying and wearing fur. To tell you the truth, when I was yo…"

"the farmer takes Jill down the well & all the king's horses & all the king's men can't put that baby together again c…"

"death is where jimi hendrix is, where our revolution ended up."

"There has always been something wrong wif the tesses. The tesses paint a picture of me wif no brain. The tesses paint…"

""I'm tired," I says. She says, "I know you are, but you can't stop now Precious, you gotta push." And I do."

"this country might have been a pio neer land once. but. there ain't no mo indians blowing custer's mind with a differ…"

"I refuse to share my body with a man who wouldn't politically defend it."