"We used to get arrested every other week — that is, the old man would get arrested."

"The funny thing about our act is that dad gets the worst of it, although I'm the one who apparently receives the brui…"

"A picture without falls is as bad as Niagara in the same fix."

"Marriage is fine as an institution, but bad as a habit."

"Our hero came from Nowhere — he wasn't going Anywhere and he got kicked off Somewhere."

"If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window."

"Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?"

"One who never smiled, carried a face as still and sad as a daguerreotype through some of the most preposterously inge…"

"Perhaps because ‘dry’ comedy is so much more rare and odd than ‘dry’ wit, there are people that never much cared for …"

"He was doing stuff that was surreal."