Films Based On Radio Series

"Melaine Cooper as "Ho", Joanna, and Sally"

"Tim Everett as Leon, Terkel's father, and Priest"

"Johnny Vegas as Uncle Stewart, Terkel's short-tempered, alcoholic and violent uncle"

"Toby Stephens as Justin, Terkel's psychotic new teacher who is the main antagonist of the film"

"Helena Roman as Fiona, Terkel's sister, and Dumpy Doris, an overweight girl in Terkel's class who has a crush on Terkel"

"Adrian Edmondson as Terkel, the main protagonist of the film"

"[about Gunnar, the new teacher] He was more than a little fucked up, wasn't he?"

"Olivia Colman as Sheila, Terkel's mum who is a chain smoker"

"Ben Bishop as Jason, Terkel's best friend, Osprey, and Nigel & Saki, the two merciless "bully-boys" at Terkel's school"

"Bill Bailey as Barry Cremone, the narrator of the film and music teacher of Terkel's school"

"Kim Matthesen as Sheila Johanna and fiona"

"Anders Matthesen as Terkel, Barry, Jason, Nigel, Saki, Johanna, Uncle Stewart, Leon, Justin, Osprey"

"Sigge: When I was looking through my uncle's music lexicon I stumbled upon a certain word I had never heard before "funky" what does it mean?"

"Game over, fucking shitface!"

"Are you lame or something? I don't have the fucking energy to explain it. You never know when you need a good windpipe!"

"Caretaker: [after Doris has jumped out of a fourth story window] Thank god that fat cow didn't land on anyone!"

"Saki: Ey Sten, why are your sheets wet?"

"Leon: [only word he says] No."

"It's a joke. You can take it."

"Surprise motherfucker!"

"Dale Belding — Mike Bennett"

"Billy House — McFee"

"Fritz Leiber — Doctor Valonius, the Seer"

"Nana Bryant — Thelma Mitchell"

"Lee Patrick — Ruth Bennett"

"Roscoe Ates — Willy"

"Eddie Parks — Barney"

"Eve Miller — Marie Kembar, Dunlap's Fiancée"

"You're very pretty when your lips aren't moving."

"Gee, trains are wonderful, especially at night. They're like big, long snakes with lighted skins. And they whistle and smoke and rattle. Boy, they're somethin'."

"He was a man trying to lead a simple, happy life. He found out life was neither simple nor happy."

"Any more news about the gal who had her heart manicured?"

"MURDER CLOUDED BY EVIL... EVERY SECOND A HEARTBEAT..."

"Charles Russell — Harold Dunlap"

"Mary Beth Hughes — Jean Maxwell"

"Jean Parker — Heather 'Brat' Hayden"

"Black magic, island witchcraft, voodoo rituals and nonsense. Proven nonsense."

"Haven't I got enough on my mind without listening to this romantic twaddle of yours?"

"Oh honey, you're gonna drive us both mad with these foolish superstitions of yours."

"Ilona, there's something about your smile right now that makes me think of Jack the Ripper."

"WEAVING HER DREAD SPELL OF VOODOO!"

"THRILL To The Newest Sensational INNER SANCTUM MYSTERY!"

"Daughter of Death! A Gorgeous...Loving...Killer!"

"DOES VOODOO DEATH STRIKE FROM HER ARMS?"

"MURDER STRIKES WITH VELVET CLAWS!"

"Lon Chaney Jr. — Prof. Norman Reed"

"Anne Gwynne — Paula Clayton Reed"

"Evelyn Ankers — Ilona Carr"

"Ralph Morgan — Prof. Millard Sawtelle"

"Elisabeth Risdon – Dean Grace Gunnison"