Screenplays By Mark Steven Johnson

"Efren Ramirez - Juan"

"Will Arnett - Antonio, a.k.a. Anthony or Tony"

"Anjelica Huston - Celeste"

"Kate Micucci - Stacey"

"Danny DeVito - Al Russo"

"Don Johnson - Beth's father"

"Bobby Moynihan - Puck"

"Kristen Schaal - Alona"

"Lee Pace - Brady Sacks, Beth's ex-boyfriend"

"Alexia Havins - Lacey"

"Shaquille O'Neal, Lawrence Taylor and David Lee - themselves."

"[repeated line] I didn't see that coming."

"Puck: Six beers enter. No beers leave!"

"Beth's Dad: You could get your heart broken or... you could have the greatest love affair the world has ever known. But you're never gonna know unless you try."

"Al Russo: The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own."

"Gale: This is crazy. I don't know whether to look at my own reflection or to look at you. That's how beautiful you are!"

"Did you ever wish for the impossible?"

"All is fair in love and Rome."

"Kristen Bell - Elizabeth "Beth" Martin"

"Josh Duhamel - Nick Beamon"

"Alexis Dziena - Joan Martin"

"Peggy Lipton - Priscilla Martin."

"Lucas Calvani - Umberto"

"Jon Heder - Lance"

"Dax Shepard - Gale"

"Kids. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em."

"Jack Lemmon - John Gustafson"

"Walter Matthau - Max Goldman"

"Ann-Margret - Ariel Truax"

"Kevin Pollak - Jacob Goldman"

"Ossie Davis - Chuck"

"Buck Henry - Snyder"

"Daryl Hannah - Melanie Gustafson"

"Burgess Meredith - John Gustafson, Sr."

"[distraught over losing his Green Hornet fishing rod in the fishing hole] Where's the Green Hornet?"