Zack and Miri Make a Porno

"We are gonna launch arcing ropes of jism all over this motherfucker! Peace!"

"[Repeated line] Let us fuck!"

"Porn has gone mainstream! It's like Coke or Pepsi with dicks in it. Look at Paris Hilton. She throatfucks a guy in night-vision, now she's selling fragrances to teens! And I'm pretty sure she's legally retarded!"

"Have you seen that Joe Francis guy who made Girls Gone Wild? That guy is the biggest fucking idiot piece of shit in the world and he has a jet and a fucking island."

"I don't want to be with anyone but you, so I will wait forever for you, okay? I will wait the rest of my life, because I love you, and I have for as long as I can remember, and I would rather die than be without you, Miriam Linky."

"[To Lester nude in the kitchen] Sorry to change the subject on you, Lester, but if you're not fucking Miri, why is your dick out right now?"

"Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!"

"Brandon: [To Bobby] I will be patient with you. I will be there on your journey. I will be your Sherpa up the mountain...of gayness."

"Mr. Surya: I hate you ebony and ivory motherfuckers!"

"Deacon: [After getting covered in Stacey's feces during an anal sex scene] Can you believe this shit?! That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!"

"Lester: [To Zack in the kitchen] Don't know what a Dutch rudder...? All right, you grab your dick, then you have someone else work your arm. Here, let me show you. All right, grab my arm. I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm. Now work it. Work my arm. See that shit? Work it up and down. It's like someone else is jerking you off. Okay. There's the double Dutch rudder, which, I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm, same time. It's like jerking off together but not gay. We're not touching dicks, each other's dicks anyway. I'm touching my own dick. You're working it, and I'm loving it. It feels good, sir. Try me, come on."

"What would you do to get out of debt?"

"A poster for everyone who finds our movie title hard to swallow."

"They Made A Movie So Naughty We Can Only Show Their Faces"

"Seth Rogen - Zack Brown"

"Elizabeth Banks - Miriam "Miri" Linky"

"Craig Robinson - Delaney"

"Jason Mewes - Lester"

"Traci Lords - Bubbles"

"Jeff Anderson - Deacon Anderson"

"Katie Morgan - Stacey"

"Ricky Mabe - Barry"

"Justin Long - Brandon St. Randy"

"Brandon Routh - Robert "Bobby" Long"

"Tyler Labine - Drunk Willy"

"Tisha Campbell-Martin - Angelina"

"Tom Savini - Jenkins"

"Jennifer Schwalbach - Betsy"

"Gerry Bednob - Mr. Surya"

"Kenny Hotz - Zack "Zack II" Knutson"

"David Early - Auditioner"