White Chicks

"Oh yeah? Well, your mother's ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, "Only in America"!"

"Exqueeze me?"

"I got the buckwheat."

"Teach him how to say, "Quiero Taco Bell". 'Kay?"

"Yo mama's so old, her breast milk is powdered. You breastfeed like this."

"Yeah, hasta la vista Schwarzenegro. Okay, bye."

"I'm so freakin' pissed! First of all, Dr. Dorfman totally messes up my nose job; I asked him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow, I get out of the surgery table lookin' like frickin' Shrek!"

"Hold my poodle."

"What a beautiful chocolate man."

"I don't see why I gotta go out with Buffy the White Girl Slayer!"

"White meat only."

"Once you go black, you're gonna need a wheelchair."

"Easy white chocolate, I wouldn't want you to melt."

"Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?"

"Someone get this jiggaboo away from me."

"[Marcus/Tiffany sprays him with mace] She don't know it yet... oh, but that's wifey right there."

"[while eating oysters] Tongue's kinda big."

"[after A Thousand Miles begins to play] How did you know? I love this song!"

"Shawn Wayans as Kevin Copeland"

"Marlon Wayans as Marcus Copeland"

"Busy Philipps as Karen Googlestein"

"Jessica Cauffiel as Tori"

"Jennifer Carpenter as Lisa"

"Jaime King as Heather Vandergeld"

"Brittany Daniel as Megan Vandergeld"

"Terry Crews as Latrell Spencer"