The Wedding Planner

"Earwax. 'X' on a triple letter, 'A' on a double word. Seventy-two points."

"A quarter cup of lemon juice, half a cup of salt and a loofah sponge. Scrub scrub scrub."

"You saved... my shoe. M-my life."

"You smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches."

"What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers."

"Are you aware that Fran has chosen teal for her bridesmaids? Teal, the color of gangrene. ... Oh, oh, and I Honestly Love You as your wedding song? You might as well commit matrimonial suicide right now!"

"You are exquisite. You're timeless. And you have the love of a man named Steve. A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me: 'I can't believe she picked me. I can't believe I'm marrying the most incredible woman I've ever met.' So that tells me that this marriage of yours is not only gonna work, it's gonna last forever."

"I had to go through your wallet to get your identification. And you know what I must say, I've ever met anyone who alphabetized her credit cards before."

"What if what I think is great, really is great... but it's not as great, as something greater?"

"Oh, of course. Krazy Glue. Why didn't I bring the Krazy Glue, in case his pecker fell off?"

"Geri: Pierre, I love you, but if you use another carnation in my bouquet I will deport you. Muah."

"Penny: Oh no! Darn it, I just remembered that I... I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her um change her fax cartridge tonight... because she's going out of town tomorrow... on an African safari!"

"Bert: Girl asks you to dance, you dance."

"Massimo: You long for him the way I long for you."

"Massimo: You need to learn the patience. Love can't always be perfect. Love is just love."

"Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t wed, plan."

"His big day is her big problem."

"Jennifer Lopez — Mary Fiore"

"Matthew McConaughey — Steve Edison"

"Bridgette Wilson-Sampras — Francine Donolly"

"Justin Chambers — Massimo Lenzetta"

"Judy Greer — Penny Nicholson"