The VelociPastor

"I don't believe you. Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I don't transform into one."

"So your parents died, Doug. It's what parents do. They die on you. They're in a better place."

"Go where you think God will not follow. If you find him there, then you know he's within you."

"War is war, and war is hell, and hell never changes."

"Yo, Cherry! If you stuffed dicks in your mouth like you're doing that sandwich, I'd be a fuckin' millionaire by now!"

"Listen, Padre, Frankie-fuckin'-Mermaid smokes where the fuck he wants because his life is on fiyah!"

"Man of the clawth."

"Evolution? Maybe."

"How long has it been since your last confession?"

"Welcome to the Christ-aceous period."

"Gregory James Cohan - Doug Jones"

"Alyssa Kempinski - Carol"

"Daniel Steere - Father Stewart"

"Aurelio Voltaire - Altair"

"Yang Jiechang - Wei Chan"

"Jesse Turits - Sam the White Ninja"

"Fernando Pacheco de Castro - Frankie Mermaid"

"David Sokol - War Buddy Ali"

"Kathleen Steere - Adeline"

"Claire Hsu - Chinese Villager"

"Nicholas M. Garofolo - Hobo"

"George Schewnzer - Doug's Dad"