The Monkey (film)

"And what if I find it, huh? What am I supposed to do, drop it from a fucking plane? It'd probably bounce!"

"WE GOTTA MAKE! LIKE! EGGS! AND SCRAMBLE!"

"What do, uh, fathers and their estranged sons say to each other? "Road trip"?"

"Everybody dies. Some of us peacefully and in our sleep, and some of us... horribly. And that's life."

"[Torching the monkey with a flamethrower] Who's smiling now, you infernal son of a whore?"

"Open up, it's the motherfuckin' police!"

"[Seeing his father and uncle as kids] You're fucking twins?"

"I'm one of those kids that can only go poo in a house."

"[Repeated line] Shit, man, that sucks."

"Everybody dies. And that's fucked up."

"The monkey that likes killing our family ...it's back."

"A New Trip from Osgood Perkins."

"The Monkey is the new trip from writer/director Osgood Perkins. Based on the short story by Stephen King and produced by James Wan. It is a film chock-full of bloody violence and death. All of these deaths are outrageously gory and thoroughly gratuitous. And while some are deserved, others are a case of "wrong place, wrong time". It's like life in that regard. Instruments of death in this feature film include (but not limited to): a harpoon gun, a shotgun, a bowling ball, a Japanese knife, a swimming pool, a surfboard, a lawnmower, and a stampede of wild horses. The hard truth is that everybody dies, and that's fucked up. But at least now you can enjoy death with your friends and loved ones in the comfort of your favorite movie theater this February."

"Theo James - identical twins Hal and Bill Shelburn"

"Tatiana Maslany - Lois Shelburn, Hal and Bill's mother"

"Colin O'Brien - Petey Shelburn, Hal's son"

"Rohan Campbell - Ricky, a local thrasher"

"Sarah Levy - Ida Zimmer, Hal and Bill's aunt"

"Adam Scott - Captain Petey Shelburn, Hal's absent father"

"Elijah Wood - Ted Hammerman, the new husband of Hal's ex-wife"

"Osgood Perkins - Chip Zimmer, Lois' older brother and Hal and Bill's uncle"

"Tess Degenstein - Barbara, a real estate agent"

"Danica Dreyer - Annie, Hal and Bill's babysitter"