The Last Boy Scout

"Water is wet, the sky is blue, women have secrets ... who gives a fuck?"

"This is the '90s. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first"

"I swear to Christ that if I survive this fucking case I'm gonna dance a jig."

"[giving Jimmy a briefcase full of $6 million] Go buy yourself a new pair of pants."

"Hey Milo, where you callin' from? The bottom of the pool?"

"Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You’re gonna lose. Smile, you fuck!"

"The truth is a beautiful thing."

"I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that fucked your wife."

"[to himself] Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes."

"[Jimmy has just survived being thrown off an overpass and is now trying to calm startled motorists] It's okay. It's okay, folks. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Danger is my middle name. Don't try this at home, folks. I'm a trained professional. There's me, and there's Super Dave.[Passes out]"

"If you go any faster we're gonna travel back through time."

"[Before shooting a cop, "Good morning gentlemen, is there a problem?"] Yes, officer, as a matter of fact there is a problem, apparently there are too many bullets in this gun."

"Naughty boy, Joseph... You just killed a police officer."

"I am the bad guy."

"Excuse me, but did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this FUCK?!"

"[Threatening Joe with his knife] You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain..."

"You back off Joseph... Or I'm gonna show your daughter what a hot date I am..."

"Push this vile, fuck off the road man!"

"Darian Hallenbeck: (to Jimmy) What the hell is that number on the back of your head? What is that, like a license plate in case someone tries to steal it?"

"Sarah Hallenbeck: Call your shrink, Joe! Call him and tell him that you're fucking losing it!"

"Billy Cole: Ain't life a bitch?"

"Inspector: This is a police matter, you dumb son of a bitch! And I'm sick and tired of sweeping up your dead bodies! Now the next time I see your ugly mug...I'm gonna put a bullet in it! You got it?"

"The goal is to survive."

"They're two fallen heroes up against the gambling syndicate in pro sports."

"Everyone had counted them out. But they're about to get back in the game."

"Bruce Willis - Joseph Cornelius Hallenbeck"

"Damon Wayans - James Alexander Dix"

"Chelsea Field - Sarah Hallenbeck"

"Danielle Harris - Darian Hallenbeck"

"Taylor Negron - Milo"

"Badja Djola - Alley Thug"

"Billy Blanks - Billy Cole"